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“Far from it.” I tipped her chin up. “I’m… fuck, you’ve had a number done on you, haven’t you?” I caressed her face.
She sighed. “If you only knew.”
“I get it.”
“Thanks, but trust me, you don’t. If you saw inside my head, or if you read one of my journals cover to cover instead of just two pages, you’d probably run a mile in the other direction.”
“You tell me when you’re ready. I’ve had a number done on me, too, woman, and I’m also not ready to get into it, but that’s how I know this is worth exploring, this… us. ‘Cause I haven’t wanted this with somebody in a while. Long while. Didn’t know if I’d ever even want it again after the shit that got pulled on me. You be real with me, be straight with me even if it’s ugly. No lies. No deceit. And if you’re in with this being real-”
She sobbed again.
“And just mine. I fuckin’ mean that. Just like you wanted. His and only his.”
Her gaze came up to meet mine at me quoting that line from the front of her journal.
“Yeah, that part stuck. It’s been rollin’ around in here for days.” I tapped my temple. “And the next page, which… the nicks of a blade shit, we’ll need to sort that out, but not tonight.”
She winced. “I’m pretty fucked up, Jesse. Not sure if I’m too far gone for you. And if you delve deeper, you might see stuff you can’t live with, and I’ll already be falling for you and-”
I kept going. “We’ll see, I guess. The way I’m picturing it, we’ll head down the road together. I’ll have your back; hopefully you’ll have mine. I’ll try to work that pain outta your eyes and maybe you’ll work mine outta my soul. Wanna try it?”
She looked up into my eyes and swallowed hard. Her eyes were full of fear. And want.
“Live, baby. Don’t deny yourself a shot at livin’ the life you want. You want this?”
She blew out breath before answering with, “More than I can even explain. More than I even thought I did, because it’s you.”
I squeezed her tighter, liking the sound of those words, feeling in my gut that they weren’t empty. The opposite of that. “You lucked out with me, you know? My ma’s story… I felt what you wrote on the inside cover of that journal. I need to see those eyes. Now, Gigi. Please.”
She looked up. And there was joy there. And then it changed to fear. Seeing it made emotion rise up in my own chest. I gave her a soft, lingering kiss before requesting, “Trust me,” against her mouth. “Let me in. Let’s give this a shot. See where it goes. No promises unless we know we can deliver, also… no lies. Never any lies. I won’t fuckin’ burn you. You don’t burn me either. Deal?”
She whimpered. “I wanna try. I want this. I’m scared, but…”
“Deal?” I repeated. “I’m not fuckin’ around. I’m not givin’ lip-service. That’s not who I am, not who I’ve ever been. Don’t lie. Do not fuck me over. Be straight with me even when it’s not easy. Deal?”
“Deal,” she agreed and stepped back, then extended her hand so she could shake mine.
I lifted it and dropped a kiss on it. When I let go, her hand hooked around my neck and she pulled me until our mouths met.
And then she kissed me like she’d been waiting to do it for years. It was different from most of the kisses I’d had from her because I generally led. This one reminded me of that very first kiss, when she was relieved I’d escaped the non-existent clutches of that bear. Only I went at her with hunger then. This time, she came at me with it. Hungry. So fuckin’ hungry my cock ached as it went hard.
“You made a supremely shitty day end on a really good note, Jesse. Thank you.” She dropped one more kiss on my mouth and then propped her chin on my chest, looking up at me with a beautiful smile.
“Believe me, it’s my pleasure, baby. And it’s gonna be your pleasure comin’ up soon if you let me go say goodnight to the brothers so I can do that and get back to my girl.”
“Okay,” she whispered, tears in her eyes looking like happy ones. “But listen…”
“I’m listenin’.”
“There might be brothers who chirp that I wanted to land myself any brotherhood member. Bunnies or old ladies might also spout it. Not true. I didn’t get hopes up with anybody unless I thought they were worth it. I was wrong about the first one and then I was choosier. If you want the details, I’ll share.”
“Don’t need the details.”
“I gave up, after… the last one. There were only two I thought were serious. One was Skip, as you know. The last one I thought I could have somethin’ real with… once I knew it was out, I wasn’t gonna just take it if it was offered. You’re not just anyone. I want this with you because it’s you.” She put her hands to my jaw. “You. Okay? Does that even make sense? I didn’t think it was a possibility, thought I was getting my hopes up, reading too much into your actions, so I kept pullin’ back.”
