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‘That’s the only thing you can think of?’
I nodded. There was no other way for us.
‘Okay. Point to you. Since we’re being honest, you’re right, I do want to have sex with you. Badly. I can’t stop thinking about the look you’ll have on your face when I push myself inside you for the first time. I want to know what your eyes will tell me when I’m moving inside you.’ He moved forward and I held my breath. ‘I’m dying to know what you like, how you like it. Fast? Slow? Deep? Will you let me take my time with you or will you beg me to go faster. I want to learn and memorize every inch of your skin. I want to know your favourite position. And I want to learn the noises you make and what each and every one of them means so I can take care of you.’
I swallowed. Hard. But didn’t move a muscle.
‘Are you loud? Quiet? Would you want me every day or less? As it is with everything when it comes to you, I want to learn everything about you, Charlie.’
Whoosh…
There went the air in my lungs.
He stared at me, and I stared back.
‘You don’t have anything to say?’
I shook my head, my cheeks heating up. Not from embarrassment, but need.
His lips twitched and he reached forward to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. Just that small action and the familiarity of it caused all kinds of emotions to stab at my chest. I wanted this guy that was kneeling in front of me more than I’d wanted any single person before. In my bed and in my life.
I heard Pepp finish his dinner and start drinking his water. Soon enough he’d be back.
I cleared my throat as William’s hand dropped from my face.
‘I…’ I started, but he shook his head.
‘I’m not done, Charlie. So yes, I do want you in my bed, on top of me, under me and next to me. In any way I can get you I want you. But that’s not all I want.’
I watched as he put both his hands on my thighs and gently parted them so he could get closer to me. Coincidentally, I was seconds away from hyperventilating. I didn’t think I could have him in my bed and then act like we were just friends at the office. I didn’t even handle just kissing him well, since I spent the entire day trying to avoid being alone with him worrying I’d give in and kiss him in front of everyone. If we were to have sex, it’d be even worse. Not to mention I’d have a hard time not thinking about our expiration date.
‘Then what do you want from me?’ I asked, my voice low and surprisingly a little shaky. ‘In the spirit of being honest, I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff right now.’
He squeezed my thighs with his hands.
‘You,’ he said quietly and simply.
My brows furrowed, not catching on what he meant. Yet the fact that he was saying that word still lit a fire inside me.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Everything about you makes my heart happy, Charlie. After my marriage, I didn’t trust women. But you? You’re different. You’ve always been different. I trust you. I didn’t want to date. I wasn’t interested whatsoever. Just wasn’t the time. But you? I’m interested in you. A lot. I want to be what you need. I know I can be what you need.’
My heart thudded in my chest.
‘Your eyes and your smile? I can talk about those two forever. The way your eyes look at me when you think I don’t know you’re doing it… there is always a shy smile accompanying it – as if you can’t help yourself. And that secret little smile you have when you’re trying to hold yourself back from smiling full-on? You lick your lips and bite on your lower lip, but I can still see how much trouble you’re having holding it in and all I want to do when I see it is just laugh with you. But the way I can see how sad you are when I look into your eyes, even when you’re trying to give smiles to everyone around you? That one hurts me and it makes me want to hurt whoever made a chip in your heart. And then your eyes give me more and they start to shine when I look into them and silently try to tell you I know how sad you are right now and I’m here for you, I will always be here for you. Then I watch your beautiful, beautiful eyes as they fill to the brim and you blink back your tears and avoid my gaze. Because you know… you know I know you. You know in your heart we’ve been waiting to find each other again and you can’t hide yourself from me. So Charlie, I want you. In every aspect of my life.’
