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‘You are,’ I whispered.
He took one more step and put his hand on my waist, pulling me just a little more firmly against his body, and rested his forehead against mine. My eyes shuttered closed and I let out a big breath.
‘Tell me more,’ he whispered back, his hand cupping my face, his thumb touching my bottom lip. ‘I told you everything I was holding in. Tell me more.’
Feeling a little dizzy with all the emotions and possibilities rushing through me, I tilted my head and let everything I was holding inside when it came to William loose. ‘I always wondered how it would be to be loved by you. Even back then and now. How I would feel. What it would do to me. Would I be ruined for any other men? Would I always keep it with me? Would you be ruined for every other person that would come after me? I have the biggest crush on you too. Always did.’
‘Charlie.’
My name was a sigh coming out of his mouth and it warmed something inside me, made me relax into his touch.
He reached around and took one of my hands into his, linking our fingers. I realized how much he loved doing that, after the first time he’d done it at his place.
‘Do you remember telling me how lonely you felt? And that you wanted to belong to someone or someplace? And that you wanted someone to belong to you?’
A little shocked that he’d remember any part of my ramblings, I nodded so he could keep going.
‘That’s my offer. If you’ll have me. I still don’t understand how someone like you can even begin to feel lonely, but I’m going to take advantage of the situation and not look a gift horse in the mouth. Their stupidity and loss. You’re my biggest wish to date, Charlie Davis.’
‘William,’ I started, trying to think, but failing miserably. ‘I’m moving. Yet I want you so much too. I don’t know… I still want to… and you know I promised myself and I have to do…’
‘I know… I know. We’ll figure out a way. I just want a chance. I can’t miss my shot with you again. I just know it’ll be one of the biggest mistakes of my life if I do that. Again. So we’ll figure out a way.’
My mind worked a mile a minute.
‘Long-distance?’ Even I could hear the unenthusiastic tone in my voice. ‘I can do that, but can you?’
‘You like honesty and certainty. Here is what I can offer. We have a little less than a month before you go. We’re going to make the best of every second. And when our time is up and it’s time for you to leave, we’ll try long-distance for a little. If you love your new job and want to stay in California, then we’ll figure out another way. My contract… I can’t leave your dad’s firm for the next few months, but after that, if you still want me, you’ll have me wherever you want. If this thing we have between us stays exactly like this without showing any signs of disappearing, then I’ll move.’ He nuzzled my nose. ‘I’ll come to you.’
Now I was seriously getting lightheaded and I leaned more firmly against the door. Sitting would’ve been the better option, but I didn’t think I could make it to my couch without ending up on the floor on my way over there… I didn’t think it would look cool on my part.
Craig, my ex, who had been with me for almost a year prior to leaving for London, had never uttered anything like that to me. I was going to go to him. I was going to change my life for him or to be with him. It was never him doing anything for me. And then he had ended the relationship because he had met someone new.
‘But you just moved from California. You said you didn’t like it. What changed?’ I shook my head, trying to clear the fog. As much as I loved everything coming out of his mouth, I couldn’t disregard his earlier thoughts. ‘You said you missed being near family. You wanted… I don’t want you to resent me down the road…’
‘You, Charlie. I want you. And if this thing between us can go somewhere, I can’t have you that far away from me. I’m already jealous over you. For the first time in my life I’m jealous about someone. Blind dates? No. Even if it’s just for practice or whatever reason, I can’t take it. If you’re smiling and laughing with somebody at the office, it drives me insane. I want to come and just stand near you, be a part of your conversation, so they know that I’m in your life. That I matter to you more than they do. I want to be your number one.’
