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I had left her a note hoping to talk to her at lunch and apologize for letting my anger get in the way, but I hadn’t had the time.
I turned around to look at her apartment, trying to decide whether I should knock on her door or not. It was still too early, so I hesitated. I saw her light go on and I let that change my mind. If she had just woken up, I could catch her before she left for work.
Making the decision to go back to my own place, I turned around. I’d take a shower. Change. And then cross the street to knock on her door and maybe take Pepp out for his short morning walk with her. Letting out a long breath, I pushed my hands into my pockets and unwillingly went to my own apartment.
32 William
After getting ready for work and then downing two cups of coffee, I locked my apartment and headed across the street. I knew she couldn’t have left for work yet.
I rang her doorbell.
No one answered.
I rang again.
Then again.
And again.
33 Charlie
A few days later…
‘You sure you’re good?’ Valerie asked as I tried to get her out the door.
‘Yes. For the hundredth time, I’m good. I’m okay and great. You can go.’
She lowered her eyes, but still thankfully moved. ‘You’re not great. You’re just good at hiding that you’re not great.’
‘Okay.’ I grabbed the doorframe and closed it halfway, keeping my body in the opening. ‘Still doesn’t mean you’re gonna babysit me.’
‘Maybe I want to stay home. It is my home, and I’m a homebody, and again maybe I want to stay home.’
I grinned. ‘You said that already. And you’re not even close to being a homebody. You already had this weekend away planned a month ago, you’re not gonna change it for me. I’ve been here for four days, so it’s not like I just came in the door and you’re leaving. I work here now, you’ll see me plenty when you come back.’
She hesitated. Her eyes narrowed as she assessed my emotional state.
There had been some crying, for different reasons. Maybe some crying about family. Maybe a little for missing Pepp, and maybe just a little tiny bit of crying for William. But the last one I hadn’t done next to Valerie. Those tears had come in private when I had gone to bed and tried to sleep. But I was fine. Completely fine and okay.
‘Fine,’ she answered after watching me. I have no idea what she saw, but her body visibly relaxed.
‘I’ll still call from Florida. If this wasn’t one of Ed’s best friends getting married I’d get out of it. You know I would.’
‘I know you would, but you don’t have to. I’m spending today looking at houses, and tomorrow I’ll head down to the office anyway. We wouldn’t have spent time together.’
‘I wanted to see the houses with you.’
‘You will. I’ll send you photos.’
‘Valerie!’ Her fiancé shouted from the car and we both looked at him. ‘We need to leave if we’re gonna make our plane.’
Val waved her hand. ‘Give me two minutes.’
Turning to me she huffed. ‘Fine. I’m leaving then.’
‘Have fun.’
‘Are you going to call him?’
I didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. ‘Nope. You know how bad I feel for the way I left, but I didn’t have a choice, they would’ve hired someone else and I’d already quit. I called him before I left. He never returned my call. He didn’t even call me after he learned I left. What else can I do?’
Valerie winced. ‘Are you sure? Maybe he said something to Gayle?’
‘If he had, Gayle would’ve told me. She didn’t even mention him, so I’m not going to be the one who asks.’
‘Fine, have it your way.’
‘No other way I know.’
She started walking backwards. ‘If you need anything call me.’
‘Okay. Love you! Miss me, please.’
‘Already do. Love you back!’ She got in the car, pushed her head out the window and sent me a big kiss before Ed started driving away.
I was still smiling when I got inside and closed the door. I rested my back against it and let a breath out.
Pepp. It was all about Pepp. I was this sad because I was missing his little but big face. That first day I’d left, I’d had to leave him with Antonio and Josh. Not only because he was used to them and loved them, but also because Gayle was working and we hadn’t set everything up. Thinking of Antonio and Josh, I was already missing them. It had been a hard goodbye for all of us. But they had promised to visit next time they were in LA. After that first day, Gayle had gotten Pepp from them and had been taking care of him the last few days. We FaceTimed every night after Gayle came back from work and as soon as we hung up I’d start to miss him all over again.
