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Then as if nothing had happened, everybody picked up the conversation and kept eating. Still a little shocked, I sat there and listened to them talk.
Not even ten seconds had passed when I pushed my chair back just as Charlie had done and put my napkin down. ‘I think I’m done for the night too.’ Even though I knew I had all their eyes on me, I fixed my focus on Douglas. ‘I’d like to thank you for inviting me into your home, but I’m sad to say that would be a lie. Just like Charlie, I’d like to be anywhere but here, so I’m going to leave and catch up with your daughter and properly thank her for the dinner she cooked, since none of you thought to do that.’
Douglas stood up.
‘No need,’ I said, not giving him time to speak because if he said the wrong thing, I wasn’t sure how I’d react and I didn’t want to deck my new boss – at least not just yet. ‘I’ll see myself out. I think after what I’ve seen tonight we should only interact professionally.’ I turned to Charlie’s grandma and inclined my head. ‘I’d say it was nice meeting you ma’m, but I’m having trouble forming the words. Have a good evening.’ I ignored both Kimberly and her husband.
And just like that I left their home, knowing I wouldn’t come back again. As soon as I was out I started jogging towards our street hoping Charlie wouldn’t have called an Uber for herself and I could catch up with her. I saw her hunched-up form two blocks ahead and slowed down to a walk so I wouldn’t scare her.
‘We need to stop bumping into each other at random places like this,’ I commented softly when I reached her side.
She avoided my gaze. Emotions I couldn’t quite describe when it came to Charlie stabbed at my chest.
‘Charlie,’ I murmured and she wiped the tears under her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘Remember your honesty thing? I would like to hear what you’re thinking.’
‘I feel embarrassed,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t think I want to do the honesty thing right now.’
My forehead creased. ‘Why would you feel embarrassed? You did nothing. In fact you handled that a whole lot better than how I would’ve handled it.’
‘Nevertheless, I would’ve preferred if you hadn’t seen it.’
‘Is that why you were a little distant after seeing me at the door?’
She wiped at her face and sniffled once, before giving me a small nod.
I just wanted to walk her home, I wasn’t after rehashing the dinner disaster, so I pushed my hands into my pockets and silently walked beside her for the next five minutes.
‘I wrote a list, you know.’
I stayed silent so her eyes briefly passed over me.
‘I wrote a list the day I saw you at the office. When I came home that night, I mean. It didn’t really have anything to do with seeing you again after so many years, I’ve wanted to write it for a while now.’
‘What is it about?’
‘It’s called The Pursuit of Charlie. I’m still working on the name. I need to change some things in my life. And the first thing on the list is move. I wrote it multiple times. I love my family. I love them. Trust me, I do, they aren’t like this all the time, but lately I feel like they have lost it completely and I don’t think I can handle it anymore. Everything they do or say bothers me, and it just seems to get worse, somehow. I think it’ll be so much better if we don’t see each other as often as we do.’
‘Trust me, I get the why after tonight.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Can I ask one thing?’
‘Sure. How much worse can it get from what just happened. Go ahead.’
‘You don’t have to answer. Not that I understand why your dad or grandma said any of the things they said, but is there something more with Kimberly? She seemed to push you more.’
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Crossing her arms over her chest, she gazed up at the night sky. ‘I hate that we can’t see the stars because of light pollution. I always wanted to live somewhere where I can spend hours just watching them. They’re beautiful.’
She was silent for another moment, but then kept going. ‘Kimberly and I had a big fight last year. Which is when I started to consider moving more seriously. She thinks I flirted with her husband. Genuinely believes that I was… or who knows, maybe still thinks I’m interested in Scott. Her reasonings were: because he is quiet and you’re quiet too, and he smiles at you and you smile at him when you think I’m not looking. I guess we texted every now and then? I don’t even remember what it was, but I promise you I never saw him as more than a brother. Why in the hell would I? When she first accused me of it, I was quiet because I was shocked. She took that as affirmation and ran with it. Thankfully Scott doesn’t know about it because clearly I was to blame. Considering the guy might have been the problem – not that he was, he loves my sister with all his heart – never crossed her mind. And she took the fact that I hadn’t dated in years as proof of my unrequited love for her husband.’
