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I’d like to claim it was about my snake.
And, yeah, that was probably a part of it.
But it was more than that.
It was her.
It was the way I couldn’t fucking stop thinking bout her.
If that wasn’t enough, there was also Val.
He was actively grieving the loss of his new friend. He cried at the door to be let out. I let him out, and he’d go cry at her door. When he wouldn’t stop, I’d open that one, and he would rush inside, nose to the ground, searching for her high and low. With no luck, he climbed up onto her spot on the bed, let out a defeated sigh, and refused to leave.
I didn’t dare strip the bed and wash the sheets.
I was pretty sure the dog would die of heartache not to have her scent around at least.
So, yeah, I got her exhaustion.
I was feeling it in my bones.
It was more than that I saw in that pretty face of hers, though.
Before she tamped it down, I saw a mix of shock, hurt, and anger.
The surprise and the anger, I got that.
Walking away from her and kicking her out like what we’d just done didn’t mean dick to me was genuinely one of the hardest fucking things I’d ever done in my life.
She had every right to want to roast me over a spit. After cutting off my balls with a dull butter knife.
I even expected that from her.
It was the hurt that gave me pause.
Because I didn’t expect that.
I didn’t know it was possible.
The woman was so fucking strong, so shielded, so fucking prickly. I didn’t think anything could get in enough to pierce, to cause damage.
Clearly, I’d been mistaken there.
Not only was it possible, I’d done it.
I meant to just… tell her what shit was going down.
But then she was tossing around that sass of hers, and I couldn’t keep my goddamn hands to myself.
And all those sparks turned into a different kind of fire entirely within a moment of my lips on hers, my hands on hers.
Things got… carried away.
I felt the change in her right after the orgasm subsided, though.
Because I’d hurt her.
And she’d be damned if she let me do it again.
So she pulled away first, she pushed me away.
Then she’d kicked me out.
I’d barely gotten a chance to tell her what it all circled back to.
The set up.
She wasn’t stupid.
She would put the pieces together.
Why I’d kicked her out.
Why I was using her coworkers now instead of her.
“Hey, boss,” Marco called as I climbed out of my car back at my house, suddenly aware of the guns I had strapped all over me.
“What’s up, man?” I asked, going up a few steps before turning to look down at him, wanting the higher ground, so I could glance around.
“The next shipment,” he said.
“What about it?”
“You, ah, there’s no schedule. Who is picking up, you know?” he said, shuffling his feet ever so slightly.
Because he didn’t like questioning me.
Rightfully so.
Men like Marco had been with me from the coup. They knew how violent those early days were. How many men had needed to prove their loyalty or there would be consequences.
It likely didn’t help that I was on edge.
Sure, most of my men likely wouldn’t notice a difference, but old-timers like Marco and Luis could sense the subtle changes.
“Right. I’ll let you know,” I said, turning, and making my way into the house.
No one was inside, but I kept a hand close to one of my guns just in case.
It wasn’t a man who ran to me, though.
No.
That was Val.
His nose up, his tail waggling, his nails clicking on the floor as he ran into the foyer.
Because I had the scent of Hope all over me.
The poor fuck probably thought she was in the house.
“Sorry, bud,” I said, rubbing his head as he did circles around me, sniffing so hard he practically sucked my clothes up his nose. “I know, I know,” I said, rubbing him under his chin when he sat down with the dog version of a pout. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll toss these clothes on her bed for you to snuggle up with,” I told him.
To that, I got a whimper.
“You miss her, huh?” I asked.
And, fuck, as strange as this was to admit, I was missing her sassy ass too.
Some selfish-ass part of me wanted to call her boss, to tell him to have her come back to a live-in position. So I could reach for her anytime I wanted.
But I couldn’t do that.
I had to try to keep her as far out of this as possible.
“Maybe we’ll see her again after all this shit is done,” I told Val, even if the strange sinking sensation inside told me that she was probably never going to want to look at me again once I figured this shit out.
