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Was killing so common to them that they truly didn’t see how this was wrong? Did they think I should accept it and move on like it was nothing?
“Not technically. He didn’t pull the trigger,” Huck replied.
“You, Gage, or Levi did it because he had ordered it!” I spit out, feeling sick.
“Yes, it was on his orders, but your life was in danger.”
I shook my head. “My life was not in danger. An alcoholic father who wasn’t abusive but needed my help wasn’t danger. It was fucking life.”
“A life you were about to lose. If it wasn’t for Blaise, you’d be somewhere in fucking Central America right now. Or dead,” he told me, then lit the cigarette between his lips.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
“Enough,” Blaise’s voice called from the front steps. “That’s enough, Huck.” There was a warning in his tone that I already knew Huck would obey. It was what they all did.
“What did he mean by that?” I asked Blaise.
I watched as his jaw worked, and he gritted his teeth. He wasn’t happy that Huck had said what he did. It was more than anyone else had said to me. I’d give him that.
“Fuck,” he growled and ran a hand through his hair.
“She was leaving,” Huck said, defending himself, but not looking real concerned.
“I can fucking see that,” Blaise shot back at him. Then, his gaze swung back to me. “Come back inside. We’ll talk.”
I didn’t move from my spot. Not until I knew our talk was going to answer some questions. There was nothing he could say to right the wrong he’d done. I’d never be able to forgive him, but I wanted to be able to move on from this. Even if it was without him. I needed closure.
“Will you tell me why you killed my family?” I asked him.
“Yes, Madeline, I will,” he replied.
Five
Madeline
I sat down on the sofa and waited for Blaise to speak. He hadn’t said anything when I came back inside. He’d simply taken my bag from me and walked into the living room, then dropped it on an empty chair.
“Talk,” I demanded.
He shot me a frustrated look.
“Why is it so hard to just tell me? I know you did it. I just need to know why,” I told him. I didn’t say this was for me to get closure. I wasn’t sure he’d talk if he knew I planned on leaving anyway, but how could I stay?
“Because my need to keep you safe isn’t just physically. It’s emotionally too.”
Did he not realize killing my family wasn’t protecting my emotions? I almost pointed it out, but I could see he was going to say more. I remained silent.
“Well, that ship has sailed,” I said bitterly.
Blaise flinched and nodded, dropping his gaze to his hands. “I know.”
He was silent a moment, and I thought he’d changed his mind. But finally, he lifted his eyes and looked directly at me. His jaw worked, as if what he was going to tell me would hurt him, which made no sense to me at all. There could be no pain greater than the photo of my family dead with gunshots to their heads.
“Two years ago, Luke’s alcoholism became something more. I know because, to keep you safe, I had to watch everything he did, and as Cole got older, I began to watch his moves too. I kept tabs on him and Cole. It was easy enough to stop the street dealers from selling to Luke. One word from me, and it ended.” Blaise paused, and the muscles in his neck flexed.
“Luke went to some other places, looking for a hit, but my control went pretty far, and he was shut down. So, he went darker and into some shitty places to find some lowlife dealers that would sell to anyone. I wasn’t alerted that he’d made this connection because my feelers don’t go into that part of the underworld. I should have watched him closer, but for a moment, it seemed he’d cleaned up. It wasn’t until Cole got involved and started selling that I realized what had happened. I’d failed you. I’d not looked deeper and caught it sooner. Luke had encouraged Cole to sell because he needed the money for his own addiction.” Blaise paused and ran a hand over the stubble on his jaw as he seemed to struggle to control his anger.
“Luke started using more than Cole sold, but to make it worse, Cole had also started using. They owed a lot of money … to several different dealers.”
The darkness in Blaise’s eyes was a mixture of fury and regret. He didn’t want to tell me the rest. I could see that without him saying it. If he’d killed my family because they had an addiction, then I could understand why he didn’t want to finish. That wasn’t a reason to kill anyone. I could have gotten them help. If I’d just known.
