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Tess, still asleep, stirs with a soft noise of anguish and burrows closer. She grimaces in her dreams, maybe replaying pieces of that goddamn awful night.
I drop a soft kiss on her brow and the lines of distress on her forehead smooth out. She whispers my name and my heart clenches.
“I’m here,” I whisper in her ear. “Everything is okay.”
Tess sighs and settles down, hopefully sinking into dreams that are less terrifying.
What I hate the most about this shit is what it does to her. While I haven’t seen her crying much, her eyes are often red. I know she cries in private.
Fuck, I would have given up both my hands to spare her this pain.
I slide out of bed with care and tuck the covers around my girl.
Every act has become more complicated now. Things you don’t think about, like brushing your stupid teeth and getting dressed, all become a pain in the ass. Before leaving the hospital I was given all kinds of informational brochures about how to do life one handed.
Meanwhile, Tess has collected a list of physical therapists, occupational therapists. She and Conner have been hassling me to make appointments. Like I need someone to show me how to shower with only one hand.
I’m not going the route of doctors and therapy and self pity. I’ll figure this out for myself.
The bed is empty by the time I exit the bathroom. I find Tess in the kitchen, urging Conner to eat like she’s his mother.
“Here, you love these.” She shoves a cheese pastry in front of his nose.
My cousin has the look of a man who’s emerging from a three day bender and is trying to puzzle out what day it is. He hasn’t shaved and the hollows beneath his eyes indicate he hasn’t slept much either. He’s barely upright in his chair, like slouching is the best he can do.
“Better eat it,” I say as I grab a coffee mug from the cabinet. “Or I will.”
That should result in a sarcastic reply. Conner and I share a lifelong trend of banter and mockery. It’s how we are with each other, how we’ve always been.
But his bloodshot blue eyes are devoid of humor as they blink at me, then stray to the emptiness at the end of my arm. He swallows and looks away.
Tess throws me a helpless look and immediately covers it with a smile as she tries to cheer up the room. “We have cherry too. But if either of you makes an obscene comment I’m eating them all myself. Don’t think I won’t. Pregnancy cravings are no joke.”
She hands over a plate with two sticky pastries stacked in the middle. Then she realizes I’m already holding a coffee cup and don’t have a spare hand to accept it.
The plate wilts in her hand.
“For fuck’s sake.” This has got to stop, all this walking on eggshells like I’m a helpless victim. I set the coffee mug down hard, snatch the plate and take a seat.
Two bites later, I notice the two of them are eerily silent. Tess fusses with the belt of her robe and Conner stares at his lap, his hands clenched on the table. Then Tess quietly fills the mug I left on the counter and places the coffee beside my plate, her movements cautious.
I can’t fucking stand it.
“Come here, baby.” I pull her into my lap because I still have the ability to do that.
She doesn’t resist but perches on my knee and turns her head, looking into my eyes. She’s beyond gorgeous right now. As always. Her dark hair is still messy from a night of sleep and her big brown eyes are free of makeup. She’s wrapped in a pink satin robe that I won’t mind tearing off her sexy body the next time we’re alone.
But I guess I’ll have to be more careful now, and not because of my missing hand. Tess is pregnant and I’m not sure how that changes what she’s in the mood to do. We’ve hardly talked about the baby since she shared the news in the hospital.
A shadow dances at the edges of the window and my muscles freeze. The fury builds instantly and I’m ready to dive through the window and strangle the first threat I find.
“Relax, it’s just one of Gage’s guys.” Conner knows my mind almost as well as I do.
He’s sitting up straight now, paying close attention. He gestures to the window as the shadow moves out of sight.
“You know they’ve been around, just in case.”
Relaxing with a grunt, I take a sip of my coffee. “Yeah, I guess I forgot.”
