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Matilda was the one behind the camera. She calls Ethan’s name and he turns. Smiles. Holds me up and moves my little arm in a waving motion. He kisses my cheek and then cradles me to his shoulder.
The video cuts off. I hand the tablet back to my mother.
“Thanks for showing me this.”
“I have more. I’ll make sure to send them to you.”
“I’d like that.”
She hugs her tablet to her chest. “Ethan and I got married very young. We weren’t always a good match. But we tried.”
I think that’s her way of saying that she really did love my father. “I didn’t realize how much I look like him.”
“Youdolook like him.” She picks at a loose silken thread in her comforter. “He wouldn’t be very happy with me now.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I failed to protect you. From Olivia. From Stuart. From…everything. Ethan would never have forgiven me.”
Truth be told, I don’t forgive her either. She didn’t exactly bend over backwards to help me beat the charges for the fire. Then after I got out of prison she acted like the sight of me embarrassed her. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit how that fucked me up.
Matilda expects me to say something about how I don’t blame her. It’s not one of my habits to lie, so I say nothing, even when she wilts into her pillows some more.
Though I’m not sorry that I can’t give her the unconditional forgiveness she craves, I promised Cecile I would make amends with Matilda. And there is something I can offer my mother after all.
“I came here in person because I wanted to give you some news.”
She stops examining her blanket. “Oh, yes?”
“Tess is pregnant. It wasn’t planned but it’s definitely happening. You’re going to be a grandmother.”
Matilda’s mouth falls open and her eyes grow wide behind her glasses.
Her expression looks like a close relation to panic. My mother has always been keen on appearing more youthful than she is, injecting junk into her face to smooth out lines and admiring the results in every mirror she passes. To her, image is everything. Being called ‘Grandma’ is probably not high on her list of goals.
“A baby,” she says softly, almost like she’s talking to herself. “You and Tess are having a baby.”
It’s been a surprise to me how I’ve already grown ferociously attached to the idea. “Yup, we’re having a baby.”
That’s all the adrenaline she needs. She flings her covers back and jumps to her feet.
Throwing a pink shawl over her shoulders, she’s off and running on a monologue. “The golf club is the ideal wedding venue and I’m not above twisting a few arms to reserve the ballroom on short notice. Our Tess will have the wedding of her dreams. I’m still heartbroken that Dani insisted on marrying at the courthouse.” She claps her hands together, struck with inspiration. “A spring wedding, think of it. Tess will be a stunning bride.”
Matilda has conveniently forgotten that Tess is still trying to come to terms with learning her father was a homicidal maniac right before watching him become roadkill. We haven’t discussed a wedding in so many words but I doubt she’s up to going to dress fittings and selecting floral arrangements today.
There’s also the fact that I’m without a hand at the moment and not a prime candidate for a photo shoot.
But hey, chalk it up to my mother not to let a little mayhem and missing limbs interfere with planning the next social event.
There’s no way to let Matilda down gently without provoking a tantrum so I just let her carry on.
However, I’m caught off guard when she swoops in with the world’s most melodramatic hug. I choke on a mouthful of her blonde curls.
“Micah, you’ve made me so happy.” She rocks back and forth, clutching me with sudden maternal enthusiasm.
It’s weird. And not altogether comfortable.
But I guess this beats having my name cursed so I’ll just let it ride and hold back from spitting out some sarcastic comment.
