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For the moment I remain in place, switching my gaze to the screen in front of me even though I know what’s coming.
A path clears in the middle of the crowd as Tess makes her way to her waiting father.
She walks stiffly, her head held high, not smiling when she joins him on the stage. He hisses something in her ear and she finally issues a weak smile along with a limp wave.
The crowd roars.
I’ve seen enough.
With more heaviness in my heart that I would have guessed possible, I leave this shitty scene behind.
She’s made her choice tonight.
And she didn’t choose me.
PartTwo
“It was always supposed to be us.
We just didn’t know it.”
Chapter18
Tess
January days have a bleak feel to them even when the sun is shining. The temperature dropped overnight, not cold by the standards of most places, but chilly for Em City. People walk briskly on the yellow brick city sidewalk and shiver with their heads down.
The guard at the Green Mansion gate knows me by sight, yet I flash my badge anyway because rules are rules.
The man tips his head with a nod of appreciation and flips the switch to unlock the tall wrought iron gate. I wait while it slowly creaks open and then enter my father’s fortress.
The Green Mansion isn’t really green. A century ago, the broad four story edifice boasted green shutters. The shutters are long gone but the nickname has stood the test of time.
After another ID check at the front door, I’m given access to the place where the daily crucial business of Em City is conducted. My father was initially annoyed when I chose not to move into a suite in the residential wing like he did. Though I commute here every day to participate as an integral part of the mayor’s team, I refuse to live in this hive of chaos and intrigue. Every night I go home to the lonely house in West Emerald and sleep fitfully with nothing to keep me company but my own regrets.
Micah and I haven’t seen each other since the night of the election, when we exchanged bitter words right before I turned my back on him.
I was angry, stung by the things he said about my father, unwilling to admit that his perception was accurate.
But it was his final raw declaration that I can’t escape from.
“Just who the hell says I want to live a long time?”
A knife through the center of my soul. The wound hasn’t healed.
Because I know Micah. I understand who he is. A man shadowed by cruel demons. He will fight them to the death if he has to.
And I would not survive that kind of loss. So I ran from him instead.
He chose to leave for Las Vegas the next morning. Now every day without him is a bleak experience.
Over the last two months there have been a hundred times when I nearly drove to the airport and took the first flight to Vegas.
In spite of everything, if I’d been sure he still wanted me, I would have gone to him in a heartbeat. But too much pride and stubbornness stand in the way and I can’t bring myself to ask the crucial question.
Do you miss me, Micah?
I’ve always thought of myself as confident. Self-assured. But when it comes to the man who unknowingly holds my heart, suddenly I can’t find enough true bravery to tell him how I feel.
