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No matter how much Lita smiles I can still tell when she’s hurting, or at least feeling overwhelmed.
Chalk it up to twin instinct.
She nods with relief, already rising from her chair, when I suggest that it might be time to cut the afternoon short.
“She still gets tired easily,” I explain to Dani, who nods and packs up a tray of food for us to take home because the girl is an angel.
Lita accepts hugs from everyone. She bobs her head when Tess promises to steal her for a lunch date next week.
Bree is already gone. She wasn’t sure she should stop by at all. She even called to check with me to make sure it was all right. I would never turn her away. She loved my sister. I’m sure that in some ways she still does.
“Allow me to escort you to your carriage.” Conner holds his arm out for Lita to take, coaxing a smile out of her.
Lita allows him to hook her elbow. “Funny, I don’t remember you being so noble.”
“I’ve evolved. Tell her how much I’ve evolved, Haven.”
“He’s evolved,” I say. “Even eats with a fork now.”
Conner glances over his shoulder. Flashes a winning grin that never fails to turn me inside out. I might fall if I wasn’t carrying a tray of cheese and crackers. My skin still feels hot and flushed from the sensation of having his arms around me earlier.
“I love you….Don’t make wait too long, okay? Every day without you hurts.”
Then he released me with a sigh because my answer was silence.
Why is the truth so difficult to speak?
The truth is that I miss his humor and his strength and his body so desperately I can’t think straight.
The truth is that our story began far earlier than he thinks it does.
The truth is that I panicked over my cousins’ threats and Conner was right about me. I’m not an island. I don’t want to go it alone.
The truth is that I’m ashamed and I want to beg for his forgiveness.
Conner treats Lita like precious cargo and installs her in the passenger seat of my Lexus. I can’t hear what he says to her next but whatever it is makes her giggle. The sound stops me in my tracks, which happens sometimes. I’m still amazed that I get to hear my sister laugh again.
Conner closes the passenger door and peers at me over the roof of the car. “You both need to come to the game next Sunday. Got some extra tickets in the prime seats. I’ll even steal the game ball for you as a souvenir after I win.”
How I would LOVE to go watch him play in person. “Another time. I think the crowd might be a little much for her. But do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Protect your ribs from now on.”
He chuckles over that. “Ah, you were watching yesterday.”
Of course I was watching. I upgraded my sports app package for the sole purpose of streaming his preseason games. In the third quarter he took a nasty direct hit after firing a short pass. He shook it off and played until the end. But I caught a glimpse of him wincing on the sidelines as he touched his ribs and my chest tightened.
“I’ll save you the winning game ball anyway,” he says, eternally cocky.
We stare at one another as the seconds stretch.
All the things that need to be said linger in the late summer air.
Then a dog barks and a tiny fur tornado bounds through the open gate. Charlotte shrieks her dog’s name as he heads for the street but Conner lunges and scoops him up before he even hits the sidewalk.
Charlotte runs over, breathless and half hysterical. “Don’t you ever do that again, Total.”
