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“And for years I watched you, longed for you, even though you had no idea. I saw you abandon basketball and become a football star instead. I saw you choose the number twenty-nine and thought that that somewhere deep inside there had to be a part of you that remembered me.
“Then there was the party. Finally, you noticed me and I was in your arms. A dream come true. All those years I’d been so sure that if I could just get you alone then all the memories had to come flooding back. You’d understand that we were meant to be together. Of course, that was never a reasonable wish. And it’s not what happened. When I saw you the next week at school you were in the courtyard talking to other girls. Like always. You smiled at me but when I asked you to the Emerald Ball you had to tell me you already had a date. That’s when I finally understood that I’d been kidding myself. I couldn’t shake the agony of another rejection in my life. Believe me, I’m aware that I should have just told you everything, instead of feeling crushed and lashing out. You didn’t understand. Everything rotten that has happened between us, both then and now, has been my fault. But you are still what you always were. The boy of my dreams. I love you, Conner. I love you so much I can hardly breathe. I didn’t realize that today. I knew it all along.”
Any length of silence after a weighty confession that bares your soul would be excruciating.
This one stretches on for longer than I’d like it to.
Conner doesn’t stop me when I release his hands and scoot back a few inches.
“Are you angry?” I’m terrified of his answer.
“No.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
He sniffs out a dark laugh and turns his head to the window again.
Maybe it was too much, unloading all this angst on him on a day like this. If he needs some time to process it all I’ll have to accept that.
His head whips back when he feels me moving away. With lightning quick reflexes he grabs me with both hands before I can gasp. He hauls me forward until my chest smacks into his. I don’t even have room to squirm. His arms are a vice, keeping me in place.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he says. “Not today or any other day.”
I feel the rise and fall of his breath, almost as fast as mine. “Okay.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
“I thought it would hurt you, to be reminded of all you’d forgotten.”
Conner doesn’t budge, refusing to let me escape scrutiny. “And why did you chase me away?”
I’d rather keep him out of that mess but I owe him the truth. “I needed to protect Lita. And the rest of you.”
A storm brews in his eyes now. “From who?”
“Terrible people. It’s the family business, Conner. I shouldn’t say more than that.” I try to look away but he seizes my chin and demands to be faced.
“You listen to me. Your business is now my business too. This is what love means.Weare the family. You and me. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” I shouldn’t be on the verge of crying again but a tear leaks out anyway.
He softens and brushes his lips across mine. “I do love you, Haven Marchenko.”
“Conner.” I throw my arms around his neck and my sob shakes the very foundation of my soul. “You once told me you wouldn’t know who you are without football. I wouldn’t know who I am without you.”
He answers with no hesitation. “I’m yours. That’s my job now. It’s us forever.”
My head rests on his strong shoulder as he rubs my back.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into his neck. “I’m so sorry. I’ve made mistakes but I’ll make it up to you.”
He breathes deeply and kisses the top of my head. “I know you will.”
Minutes pass and I have no desire to move, although at some point I need to tell Tess that all is well. I’m sure they’re all out there anxiously waiting for word. I’ll get to that shortly, and I can ask Tess if she’d mind hosting Lita tonight. I’m not comfortable leaving Lita on her own on the east side and she’ll be safe with Tess and Micah. She’ll also enjoy the opportunity to spend more time with baby Dash.
“Do you think I’ll be allowed to stay here?” I ask. I hope the answer is yes because I’d have to be dragged away. I’m not leaving this man, not ever again.
He teasingly tugs a section of my hair. “I’ll insist. After all, you’re my wife now. You have to live with me.”
