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My sister lives in a nursing home that offers every amenity for a patient in a persistent vegetative state. The standard of care is impeccable, one of the best in the country. I would never accept anything less for her.
Lita’s friends still stop by on occasion, Tess and Dani in particular. But they are all immersed in their own lives while Lita remains in a state of limbo. And time just keeps passing.
As for my mother, she moved to Hawaii some years back and keeps herself inaccessible.
“Lita is long gone. Do as you please, Haven, but I’m not wasting years of my life grieving a vegetable.”
The woman is damn lucky that thousands of miles separated us when she spoke those words.
My father is more subtle. He won’t mention Lita’s name at all. He quietly pays all the bills for her care and otherwise pretends she doesn’t exist.
Every employee in the building knows me on sight but they all do a double take and start fussing when I stroll through the door.
“My god, I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Haven, you look incredible.”
“Dazzling. I need a picture. Smile!”
Stifling my annoyance, I escape the wave of admiration as soon as possible. They mean no harm and they all take good care of my sister.
This facility specializes in patients who have suffered a traumatic brain injury. Every room contains a sad story, a life interrupted. Lita is one of the longest residents.
She sits in a leather reclining chair, dressed in a matching turquoise loungewear set that undoubtedly would cause her to shriek. The blunt, shoulder-length cut of her blonde hair would make her shriek even louder.
“Hey you.” I lean down to peck her soft cheek, as I always do.
She blinks, her unfocused eyes fixed somewhere above the mounted television, which is currently screening some Disney musical.
“Don’t laugh at my transformation,” I warn as I take a seat on a cushioned ottoman. “I’m on bridesmaid duty today. Tess and Micah, can you believe it? Jesus, they couldn’t stand each other. Now they’re crazy in love. Tessie has brought their baby here to see you a few times. He’s a complete angel. And you know I’m not one of those people who gets all starry eyed over babies. That little guy is the exception.”
Up on the screen, there’s a crescendo of dramatic music with a close up of Emma Watson’s face. Lita had the hugest crush on her when we were kids. It was the only reason she agreed to sit through all the Harry Potter movies with me.
From the beginning, we were different from each other. We were also a world unto ourselves. We had our own private jokes. Our own elaborate quirks. We danced to music only we could hear. We chose new lyrics for familiar songs.
And we didn’t drift apart all at once. It happened little by little.
The last time Lita and I spoke, I told her to fuck off with her shitty friends and leave me in peace forever.
That’s something I wish I could forget but never will.
With tenderness, I push my sister’s hair from her forehead. “Sorry, but I can’t stay. I’ll be sure to give Tessie your love. Hell, I’ll even be cool to Dani. It must shock you that we’re not enemies anymore. Yeah, I’ve talked a lot of dirt about her but I was wrong. I’ll come by tomorrow and share all the gossip about the wedding. I know you’ll want to hear all about it.”
Before leaving, I bend close to my twin’s ear and whisper my usual words of farewell. A superstitious ritual, one that began in a hospital emergency room when the initial news was terribly bleak and for the first time in my life I felt the sharp terror of loneliness.
What would happen if I failed to say the words?
Nothing.
Just like nothing happens year after year. No matter what I have to say about it, Lita’s condition remains unchanged.
But now’s not the time for brooding and tears.
There’s somewhere I need to be.
Ashley, the receptionist, smiles at me when I walk by. “Have fun at the wedding. I heard someone say that Conner Wiseman is the groom’s cousin. Will he be there?”
She says ‘Conner Wiseman’ like other people say ‘Jesus’.
