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“This little guy is hungry.” She kisses her son’s cheek and bounces him. “I didn’t bring enough pumped milk today so I need to nurse. What’s wrong?”
I hope she can forgive me for what I’m about to say. “I’m so sorry, but I have a family situation I need to deal with at the club.”
She nods. She doesn’t seem particularly surprised. “I understand. But thank you for being here today. Haven, it really meant a lot to me.”
“It was an honor, Tessie.” And it was.
She gives me a quick hug before disappearing to search for a private room to nurse the baby. If I was any kind of friend I’d stay until the end of the reception. But now that I’ve cleared my departure with Tess, there’s nothing preventing me from escaping.
First, I stop to look in on the party. Conner stands out instantly, impossible to ignore.
He was always at ease in any crowd and today is no different. While I’m watching, he roars out a laugh at one of Gage’s deadpan comments and then moves on to socialize at a table filled with people who hail him like a war hero.
Abruptly, Conner straightens his back and scans the room, searching for something. His expression dims when he doesn’t find it. He might even be looking for me. Someone with good manners would walk over there and say goodbye.
But I don’t have good manners. Never did.
This is why I shrink back into the shadows and leave Conner Wiseman to wonder where I’ve run off to. He’ll have no trouble finding a new dance partner, another girl to flirt with. He’s not the type to stay lonely.
I’m sure Fiona will huff with exasperation when I return to the club at such an early hour. But the bawdy chaos of the club is preferable to this awkward struggle to fit in while masking the fact that I’m an imposter, taking Lita’s place.
My sister is the one who deserved to be here today, standing up with one of her oldest childhood friends, partying the night away in a bridesmaid gown.
With all my heart, I wish she was.
Chapter5
Conner
Most people find that sleep comes easier in silence.
Not me.
Silence is nails on a fucking chalkboard, grating on every nerve and buzzing in my ears.
Arriving home to an empty house is a weird feeling. Tess and Micah are enjoying their wedding night at the Palace before driving to the lakeside cabin up north where they’ll spend their honeymoon. As for my favorite baby boy, he’s staying with Dani and Gage while his parents are away.
I’m not so pitiful that I can’t deal with being on my own. But sometimes solitude gives energy to the shadows that eat at the edges of my mind. Those shadows whisper rotten memories.
“LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!”
Nope. Screw that. My mother doesn’t need to be in my head tonight.
After spending ninety minutes in my weight room, beating off in the shower and sucking back three beers, I switch on a sound app and stare at the dark ceiling in my bedroom.
My thoughts return to Haven. She’s been on my mind a lot today. Now here she is again, shooting fiery lasers from her eyes one minute and then melting in my arms on the dance floor in the next. There were moments when I didn’t know if she wanted to punch me or kiss me. I don’t think she was too sure either.
She’s welcome to do either one. I won’t complain.
Haven is a puzzle. A sexy one. She’s tall and her body is a fucking fun house. When she’s not saturated with layers of garish goth makeup she could easily challenge any of the world’s beauties and win. In the looks department, she’s got all the right assets.
But the girl’s attitude can be exhausting. Usually, open hostility doesn’t do it for me. Her angle seems to be,“I want to hate you and I don’t know why I want to hate you but I’m gonna keep hating you until I damn well find a reason.”
Why is that making me horny as I lie here alone in the dark?
And what would it take to crack a shell as thick as hers?
I think I might like to find out.
