AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What scares me the most is giving up hope that Lita will come back.” My fists ball up and I shake my head. “That’s something I’llneverfucking do. I’ll never give up on her. Not until the day I die.”
Conner slowly runs a thumb over his scruffy jaw and nods. “You’re good to Lita. She’s lucky to have you.”
I appreciate how he speaks of my sister in the present tense, acknowledging that she’s still alive. And I appreciate that he wasn’t dropping empty words that mean nothing. We’re unalike in most ways but both of us understand the hollow feeling of loss.
My fists relax and I rub my palms on the soft fabric of the yoga pants I took from my sister’s closet. “You asked me what I said to Lita before leaving her room. When we were kids we used to play this game where we’d make up new lyrics to old songs. One of them was ‘You Are My Sunshine’. I can’t remember it all but I do remember the last line and I remember that Lita was the one who came up with it. Now I repeat it to her every time I leave her room. I’m not usually superstitious but I never miss saying it.”
He doesn’t move a muscle. “I’d like to hear it if you want to tell me.”
I suck my lower lip between my teeth. I’ve never uttered the words out loud to anyone else, as if doing so would rob them of their power. Stupid thought. If they had any power they would have worked by now.
“Please don’t take my sister away.” A soft breeze tickles the nape of my neck. The laughter of children carries from the trail below.
Conner reaches for my hand. His fingers squeeze mine gently and let go after mere seconds, a signal the act was made in friendship, or something like it.
He heaves a deep sigh and it’s not a sound I’ve heard from him before. “I don’t talk about my mother.”
“Would you like to talk about her now?”
“Not really. Whenever there’s a microphone shoved under my chin it’s a question that comes up and I always deflect or pretend I don’t hear. Edie was a terrible human being. No doubts about that.”
I remember her a little bit, Conner’s mother, from back in old West Emerald times. She seemed like a cheerful idiot, always bowing and scraping to big sister Matilda, ready to burst into tears if anyone looked at her cross eyed.
She fooled everyone.
I pull my knees up to my chest and fold my arms around them. “Not always easy to sort people into good and evil boxes. Most of us are a little of both.”
He gives me a long, careful appraisal. “I bet you’re speaking from experience.”
I hold his eye. “More experience than I’d like.” More than I’m willing to discuss on the summit of Glinda’s Peak.
He doesn’t press. He looks again to West Emerald, the landscape of his past. Mine too.
“You know what’s extra fucked up, Haven?” His pitch has grown lower, darker.
“What?”
“In spite of being a shitty human, Edie was a good mother. At least, she was a good mother when I was a kid. After she and my dad were divorced, it was just the two of us. Sometimes when I’m stuck in a groove of hating her for all the pain she caused, I get ambushed by memories. Like the time I fell out of a tree. I was being reckless, climbing higher than I should have been climbing. One the way down I got knocked out cold. Turned out to be a hell of a fork in the road of my life. But you grew up in West Emerald. I’m sure you’ve heard that damn story.”
I sink my teeth into my lower lip hard enough to feel some pain. I’m amazed my voice stays neutral. “Yes, I remember your accident.”
He nods. “Anyway, my mother’s face was the first thing I saw when I woke up in the hospital. She’d been crying. When I opened my eyes she started crying even harder. My mother was never religious but she kept sobbing out thanks to Jesus. She said she wouldn’t have been able to survive if she’d lost me. Later, she snuck a pint of cherry vanilla ice cream into the room because she knew it was my favorite. She didn’t leave my side until I was discharged from the hospital.”
His pause is so long that I wonder what I should do to fill the silence. Or if I should fill it at all.
A shadow falls as a lone cloud scuds across the sinking sun. A short distance away, a hawk flattens its wings and flies in slow circles. It’s the first moment of true serenity that’s come my way in ages and I’m reluctant to let it go.
Conner jerks his chin at the horizon. “The sun is on its way down.”
“I see that.”
“Looks like you got some color there today.” He touches a finger to the slope of my nose.
The gesture is not erotic. Yet I battle a shiver of desire.
“Mistress of the undead, remember? I burn easily.”
He drops his hand. “So you’re not working tonight?”
