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My eyes flicker open, and I see my Ma sitting beside me, her hand holding mine. A shadow forms over the bed, and I tense. My body starts to shake as fear grips me.
“It’s the doctor, darling,” Ma tells me. “He’s going to ensure that you’re okay.”
“I have a killer headache,” I whisper. “Where is James?” He was here last night when I fell asleep, but he’s gone now.
“Hi Chloe, I’m Doctor Herman. I’m going to give you something to help with the pain. How are you feeling besides the headache?”
I lift my shoulders and shrug. How do I feel? Numb, sore, exhausted, ashamed. I have so many feelings that I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. “When can I go home?”
I want to step onto a plane and go home. Return to the place where I feel the safest. But the mere thought of leaving James has my heart racing. It’s weird, James and I have only been together for one night and yet I feel as though we’re meant to be. There’s just something about him, about this connection we have, that makes me believe he’s the one.
But that’s crazy. It’s certifiable.
“I want you to stay here for a few more days so I can keep an eye on you and let you regain your strength. I need to put an intravenous line in with antibiotics, along with fluid. We want to ensure that you don’t have an infection, and it’ll starve any that do try and attack your body. The fluids will help you regain your strength, but it’s going to take time. Your body has been through turmoil, so it’s not going to happen overnight.”
The doctor continues to speak, and I see Ma is giving him her rapt attention. I know that if there’s anything important, she’ll let me know. The memories of my time locked up in the Dirty Demon’s clubhouse assault my mind.
A noise wakes me once again. The only light comes from the embers of the fire. A cracking sound gains my attention. It sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it. I feel a warm breeze on my neck, I shiver, someone’s breathing on me. God. Someone’s behind me.
I brace myself, knowing that some of the men are here. Whenever they are here, they hurt me.
I tense, a chill racing up my spine as I hear the rustle of movement behind me. Before I can turn around, a sharp object crashes into my leg. A searing pain spreads through me, my muscles tensing and my breath hitching. The object strikes me again, causing a deep, aching throb that radiates throughout my body.
It happens over and over and over again. There’s not a place on my body left untouched—my upper thighs, lower legs, arms, back... Blow after blow after blow. Tears tumble down my cheeks, and I try to stop the cries from spilling from my lips. There's no point in asking them to stop. It will just encourage them to do even more.
A man walks in front of me. It’s the man who hurts me the most. He’s the one they call Crunk. My breath hitches when I realize what the sound has been; what he’s been using to hurt me. It’s a belt. He’s been whipping me with it. The buckle is no longer silver. It's coated in a red liquid.
Blood. My blood.
The first lash of the belt against my stomach pulls the wind from my lungs. The second lash would have sent me to my knees if I wasn't attached to the pillars. The third one has me whimpering with pain.
Again and again and again he hits me. The lashes of the belt against my skin is all I hear in this room. It’s as though it echoes off the walls. The metallic scent of blood hits me. This is all that men do. They make me bleed. Every day is a new way for them to inflict pain on me. It's never ending. It's never going to stop. I’m going to die here.
“Hey.” My Ma’s voice pulls me from my memories. “It’s okay,” she whispers, her arms going around my shoulders as she gently pulls me into her body. “I’m here,” she assures me. “I’m right here, Chloe. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe here.”
I can’t stop the tears from falling as I sob against her. Everything I felt while I was kept in that God forsaken place erupts from me, and I let it out, knowing that I’m safe in my Ma’s arms. The woman who saved me when I didn’t know I needed it. Callie has always been my strength, even when she had no idea that I was my father’s daughter. She cared for me and loved me when Zoe didn’t.
“The memories,” I gasp.
She runs her hand over my hair, soothing me. “They’ll slowly fade, darling. They’ll slowly go, and you’ll be able to breathe once again. The fear, that’ll take some time. But you’re safe. Your father and I, we’re not going to let anything happen to you again.”
I continue to sob against her. I know it’s my body’s way of releasing the pain and fear. I’m so exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open any longer.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I wish it were me who had been taken. I would do anything to take this pain away from you,” Ma whispers as she rocks me.
My Ma has been through enough pain and hurt in her life. I know that she’s still afraid to be alone. My da never lets her be, ensuring that someone is with her at all times. I don’t think Ma knows that’s what he does, but my da needs the peace of mind when he’s away to know that she’s safe.
“What happened to the girl?” I ask, needing to know that she’s okay. That she’s safe.
“What girl, baby?” she asks softly.
I tell her about the girl that washed me and how she was, naked and a collar around her neck, that she was there and I’m not sure how long she’s been there for. I’m worried about her. I just hope that she’s okay.
“We’ll find out, I’ll make sure we find out,” she promises me.
I nod, I need to know, if I don’t, I’m never going to forgive myself.
“Sleep, sweetie,” Ma whispers again. “Let your body rest. The doctor will help you. Just rest.”
