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“I need you to carry Demi out here and put her under the tree. I can do it if you’d rather not, but…” I let my voice trail off as he hands me the shovel.
“I’ve got it.” His voice is gruff as he replies. I reach over and grab his arm.
“I know you’ve seen a lot, done a lot. I’m sure you have ghosts that haunt you, just like I do. So, know that I’m not trying to patronize you when I say this but brace yourself. It’s not pretty.”
“Death rarely is,” he grunts as he turns and walks away.
I guess in that we disagree. I always found the thought of death quite alluring. Not in the sense that I’m in a hurry to die, but in the way that when it comes, I’ll welcome the peace it brings. There is a part of me that yearns to just be still. To not have to look over my shoulder. To not be me. In death, I’ll be free, something I’m not sure I’ll ever be in life. There are too many facets of me to find that kind of peace. I’ll always be a little fucked-up, a little broken. But then, so are some of the best people I know. I chase death almost as much as it chases me. It’s as if the reaper and I have an understanding. I have wrongs to right before it’s my time to go. When it’s done, I’ll willingly go anywhere with him.
The wind blows, making my hair whip around my face. With a sigh, I tuck it behind my ear and start shoveling the dirt back into the hole it came from, covering up Andino’s body. I wish I’d had more time to make him pay, but he was an unfortunate blip along the road I didn’t foresee.
I’m only sad that I can’t return Demi to her family, not without drawing heat on both Calix and me and we can’t afford that right now. Right or wrong, it doesn’t stop the guilt from eating at me.
Once Andino’s covered and the hole is full, I drag over the two huge planters from the patio area and sit them over the grave. By the time I’m done, my tank top is plastered to my body, and my side is throbbing like a motherfucker.
I pick up my shovel once more and head up the small hill to where Calix is filling in Demi’s grave. I start to help him, and for once, he doesn’t argue. Instead, we made quick work of laying to rest the young woman whose life ended far too soon.
One day, I’ll find a way to let her family know what happened to her. In the end it doesn’t matter if that day is today, tomorrow, or next year. Demi is never going home again.
Once we’re done, the sun is much lower in the sky. My stomach rumbles, reminding me we haven’t eaten since breakfast.
“Come on, let’s shower and get out of here.”
I drag the shovel with me, my arms feeling like spaghetti as I make my way back to our room. I don’t bother waiting until I’m in the bathroom before I start stripping out of my clothes. I have my tank top off as I open the door to the bathroom but stop at the sound of Calix’s voice.
“Let me check your side first.”
I hesitate for a second before turning a fraction and lifting my arm.
Calix steps closer and peels the dressing gently from my skin. “It’s been bleeding. You need to rest.”
“Sure, I’ll get right on that.”
“Smartass. Take a shower, then I’ll put a clean dressing on.”
I nod before walking into the bathroom and closing the door.
I strip off the rest of my clothes and climb into the shower, ignoring the chill as the water struggles to heat up. It doesn’t faze me, though. I need to wash this day from me so badly that I’d stay under here if it was pelting me with ice.
I wash myself clean and shampoo my hair twice before climbing out and wrapping a towel around myself. I grab a spare one for my hair and twist it around my head until I’m confident it will stay in place. I give myself the once-over to make sure everything is covered before heading out into the room, letting the steam escape with me.
Calix is closer than I thought, making me stop in the doorway as he approaches. He stands as close to me as he can without touching me before dipping his head and whispering against my ear. “It’s a dangerous game you play, wife.”
My breath hitches as he pushes against me, turning me so he can brush past and use the bathroom himself. I don’t bother telling him that I’m not playing a game, but if I were, he’d be none the wiser. Today has already been a long one, and the rest of the night promises to be just as exhausting.
As the door closes behind Calix, I take a deep breath and shake it off. Let him think what he wants. What does it even matter anyway?
I dry off and get dressed in a clean pair of denim cut-offs and a white T-shirt. I shove the rest of my things in my bag before looking around the room for anything I might have forgotten. The room is empty. Everything except for our bags has been put in the car. Calix had questioned me about the car earlier, and I told him it was more practical than the bike. Of course, that’s only half true, but he seemed to accept my explanation.
I take the supplies for my side out of the front pocket and put them on the bed before braiding my wet hair to keep it out of my face. I carry my bag out to the car and toss it in the trunk before grabbing the matches I purposely left handy. I shove them in my pocket and make my way back up to the main building and into the kitchen area of the diner.
I open the oven door and turn on the gas full blast, letting it flow freely. I don’t hang around. Instead, I make my way back to my room, remembering how much Calix freaked out the last time he came out of the shower to find me missing.
Thankfully, I’m back just as he’s turning off the water. I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for him. He comes out with a towel hung low around his waist, his lickable abs on display and still wet from the shower. I squeeze my legs together and look away.
The rustle of fabric and the sound of a zipper tell me he’s getting dressed, thankfully. When the zipper sounds again, I realize he’s shoving the things he has taken off into the bag I left on the bed for him. I turn to take it, but he stops me.
“Let me do your dressing first.”
