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“I get it, sort of. Maybe if we’d been closer…”
“No, Dani. Despite what’s currently going on between us, you are the closest person to me. It’s not you I’m hiding it from, it’s the world. But I should have told you, because if there was ever someone I’d want to confide in, it’s you.”
Dani sniffs again and changes the subject. Though I’m not sure why.
“When are you coming home?” she asks, completely unaware of how much my soul pines for her.Home. God, I love that word coming from her mouth. If only it had a deeper meaning than what she’s now referring to.
“We had planned to leave at ten,” I say, after a beat. “As far as I know, that hasn’t changed.”
“That’s good. Great,” Dani says but doesn’t offer anything else, so I decide to take a leap of faith. I can’t wait until tomorrow to see her.
“I’ve got to see Mom first. Summer called her and she’s freaking out. But after that, can I see you? Can I come over? So we can talk some more.”
Dani’s silent for a moment, and I hold my breath, waiting for her to say no. After all, nothing has changed between us.
“I’d like that,” she says in a small voice, and my entire body warms. “I’ll send you my address.”
“Yes!” I say quickly and then shake my head. “Perfect, that’d be perfect.”
With a promise to see each other this evening, we say our goodbyes, and I feel lighter than I have in months. I’m not sure what will happen next. But I want Dani and I sure as hell can’t continue to pretend I’m fine to be living without her. Because I’m not living. I’m existing. And life’s too short to go on like that.
Chapter Forty
Logan
AssoonasSummerdrops me off, I head over to Mom’s place. I could have used a shower, but it’s already late and I’m so desperate to get this part over with that I don’t even bother to change. And yet, when I pull up in front of her house, I can’t move. I can’t bring myself to get out of the car because of what I’m about to do. It’s not that I’m unsure, because I know with absolute certainty that I’m doing the right thing. Liam should be with Dani. And so should I. I just hope she understands.
Taking a deep breath, I jump out of the car and jog to the door, watching it swing open as I arrive.
The second I cross the threshold, Mom wraps me in a suffocating hug, only making me feel worse.
“I probably should be grounding you or something for being so stupid,” she says, pushing me away but holding me at arm’s length to check me over. “I bet if Summer hadn't called, I never would have known,” she blurts with a stern expression. “You’re lucky Liam's asleep because right now I want to scream. Are you crazy? You had me worried sick, Logan!” she whisper-yells toward the end, making me internally wince. “Has this ever happened before?” she continues. “Do you drink often?”
I break out of her grip and move away as my hand runs back and forth through my hair. I’m nervous and maybe a little uncomfortable. It’s been a while since Mom scolded me, but it’s not like I’m in the habit of trying to ruin my heart. “Of course, I don’t usually drink,” I say honestly, my brows furrowed in annoyance. “You know that. Other than a beer here or there, this was a one-off, under exceptional circumstances.”
She scoffs, clearly not believing me. “And what are those circumstances? Because from where I’m standing, having just lost your father, I can’t imagine any reason to risk your heart.”
Her tone morphs from concern to disappointment as she hovers between the two. I have no excuse for putting my body through that, but I do have a reason for not thinking about the damage drinking might cause. I was definitely more focused on theotherway my heart was breaking, and trying to drown those sorrows. Was it stupid? Hell fucking yes. Will I do it again? Hopefully not. But clearly with that answer, I’m not ruling it out.
When I don’t speak right away, Mom taps her foot impatiently, and just like when I was living at home, the movement bugs me. I watch it for a few seconds, and like always it starts to make me mad.
“Well, I’m waiting,” Mom says, tapping a little harder, and I lose it.
“I’m in love with Dani, okay?” I blurt in frustration, needing her to stop.
God, that’s fucking annoying.
Mom’s eyes flash to mine as her foot stops midtap and her expression matches my own. “I know,” she says, barely above a whisper, as she looks away.
She knows.I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by that, considering everyone else seems to know. But it’s still not a discussion I wanted to have.
“How’d you figure it out?” I ask, just because I’m curious. I didn’t think I was that obvious. But maybe I was.
Mom smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “If I hadn’t already known, I would have figured it out the second you ran out of our meeting with the lawyers last month. But I actually realized long before that day.” She pauses and then sighs. “Are you together?” she asks, her tone hesitant, as though she’s concerned for the answer. And she’d have every right to be.
“We’re not, no. But there’s a reason for that, and I want to talk to you about it. Do you want to know the truth?”
Mom frowns before turning and walking away, throwing an, “Of course” over her shoulder, trying to act like she’s fine.
