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Gripping the back of my neck, I take a deep breath and count to three before I start. One…two…three… “I was worried about you.”
She stops suddenly and spins around to face me, her eyes comically wide. “Me?”
I want to roll my eyes, because she had to know that, but instead, I give her a small shrug. “You’ve been hit with so much these last few months, and I didn’t want to add to your pain.”
Her frown deepens, and a look of uncertainty crosses her face. “Why would you add to it?”
“It probably wouldn’t look good if your son was dating the girl you were in a custody battle with,” I say, and Mom sighs in relief, but relief from what? What is she thinking?
“That’s all. I never thought about it that way, but you’re probably right.” She pauses as she stares at me, her eyes bouncing between mine, seemingly looking for something. And when she finds it, she suddenly looks panicked. “Wait, does that mean we’regoingto have to face that? Are you planning to tell her how you feel? To work things out?”
I frown at her reaction but give her the truth. I can’t hold back any more. “Yes, I want to work things out with Dani, but I need to talk to you about it first. There’s something I need to get off my chest.”
Small lines appear on her forehead, and she gulps as her panic deepens. She’s clearly nervous about what I have to say. And she’s not the only one. I’m nervous to say it.
“My feelings for Dani aside, I’m worried about the custody hearing and specifically whether or not we’re doing the right thing.”
Mom freezes. “What?”
Looking her in the eye, I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, my words following after. “I don’t know if you’ve really thought this through. I know there are mothers of all ages, and they’re amazing. But is this whatyouwant? You were excited when I moved out. You told me all your plans. In great detail.”
“No, Logan. I know what I’m doing. I—”
“You even admitted to only having one child because you didn’t think you had it in you to raise a second,” I interject, cutting her off. “Is raising Liam now at this point in your life really something you want, or are you just scared of losing him and the connection to Dad?”
Mom stiffens and starts shaking her head with a frown. “No, Logan. You don’t understand. I—”
She cuts herself off and stays quiet for a beat, looking down to the ground, lost in her own memories. I’m about to apologize for upsetting her when a single tear runs down her cheek, hurting my heart. And yet, when she looks back up at me, her expression is full of determination. “I’m doing the right thing.”
“Mom,” I say, swallowing a lump in my throat. “I think it should be Dani. Whether we’re together or not. I think she’s the right person to raise Liam. I don’t want to take him away from you, and I wish there was some kind of compromise, without it affecting Liam too much. But—”
“No.”
My stomach drops. It’s not like I expected to change her mind, but I thought she’d at least think about it.
“No?”
“You can’t take him away. I won’t let you.” She gets choked up as she speaks, with tears spilling over, so I move quickly and engulf her in a hug, whispering sorry over and over until she pushes me away.
“You can’t take him away,” she repeats, and it absolutely breaks me.
“Mom, it’s not taking him away. I’m thinking of Liam. He should be with D—”
“He should be with you!” she calls out and then covers her mouth.
Huh? Me?
“Mom, I—”
“You’re his dad,” she whispers, shocking the hell out of me. “He should be withyou.”
My world stills as I stare at her and a silence takes over. My heart beats so hard I can almost hear it as my blood pulses through my veins. I must have heard her wrong. That can’t be ri— “What are you talking about?” I grate, terrified that something might be wrong with her.
“Liam is your son. Your Dad never even slept with Elizabeth.”
“What the fuck?” My heart clenches and I clutch at my chest, begging it to keep going, nervous of the twinge as my world spins. “Why would you say that? Why are you saying this?”
Mom’s face falls as more tears flow, and I have to look away. I can’t worry about her feelings right now; I need to process mine.
