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I’m silent for a moment as I process what he’s just said. The thought that he slept with Ellie never once crossed my mind, and while it probably should bother me, it doesn’t.
Reaching out for his hand, I brush our fingers together but flinch when he moves out of reach. “I told you from the start that you deserved better,” he rasps, looking away.
Ignoring his self-destruction, I reach out again and grab both of his hands, pulling him toward me with as much force as I can muster. He comes easily, but it has nothing to do with my strength. It’s more like he’s given up and is just allowing me to do what I want. “Logan, look at me,” I demand, fully prepared to force him to look if he doesn’t, but thankfully, he turns my way without question. “That’s the last thing on my mind right now,” I tell him honestly. “I don’t care that you slept with Ellie, I…” Logan’s face pales, causing me to trail off, panic rising back to the surface. “What's wrong?”
“I thought your sister's name was Elizabeth, but you just called her Ellie.”
“I did. That’s what she called herself when we were younger.”
Logan nods and I see him visibly swallow. “Do you have a photo?”
I don’t, but maybe her social media accounts are still live. “I can try and find one online.”
“You don’t have to do that. Her name is enough. I had sex with an Ellie that worked with Dad. At his staff Christmas party. Right before we moved six years ago. I think it’s safe to say they’re one and the same.”
When he says “six years ago” a thought hits me, and I realize what that means, causing bile to rise in my throat. “You were only seventeen, Logan. And Ellie would have been…Jesus. Is that why she kept it from you? Is that why they kept it from you?” God, why would they do that? Wouldn’t they want to ask him for the truth? Even if it might kill them. Oh God. “Did she—”
“No.” He cuts me off. “It was consensual. And I hate to say it, but it wasn’t my first time.”
“But illegal all the same.”
Logan winces. “I hadn't thought of that, but yes, I guess it would have been.”
“Jesus, Logan. I’m so sorry.”
It’s hard to believe Ellie would take advantage of a seventeen-year-old, no matter how much experience he had. No wonder she moved away.
Logan’s silent for a beat as his brows furrow in question. “Why? Why are you sorry?”
I remember back to his dad's funeral and give him my honest answer. “Because this is sofucked-up.”
Logan laughs and pulls me against him, wrapping his arms around me before pressing his lips to my head. “Thank you. It really fucking is.”
We stay like that for what feels like hours until Logan finally breaks away and his eyes light up. “I have a son.” He smiles.
I can’t help the soft smile that pulls at my lips too, when I hear the awe in his voice. “You do. And he’s pretty freaking amazing.”
“No thanks to me,” he croaks out, shaking his head in denial.
“Not true. He’s spent two years getting to know you, and trust me when I say you rub off on people and I’ve seen you in him. In the things that he does. The way that he talks. You’ve done more than you think.”
Logan’s smile widens, and my heart races as mixed feelings run through me. On one hand he’s going to be an amazing dad, and I’m so happy that Liam has him. On the other hand…where does that leave me?
Ignoring my feelings, I take a breath to ask what he’s going to do next when his phone chimes and both our eyes flash toward it.
“I’m going to guess that’s my mom. I kind of ran out of there without really talking things through.”
“Kind of?” I smile.
“Okay, no, I definitely did. And while I’m pissed as hell, I should probably talk to her to get some more answers.”
“You really should. But it’s the middle of the night, and you should also sleep. You’ve had a rough twenty-four hours; I can’t even imagine how exhausted you must be.”
Logan shakes his head, but no matter what comes out of his mouth, I know I’m right based on his weary eyes alone.
“I don’t think I could sleep if I tried.”
“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try,” I say, pulling him to his feet so he’s one step closer to bed.
