AllFreeNovel
Share Us
This girl.“Yes, Dani. How many times do I have to say it? I want you to raise Liam. Whether we’re together or not. I can’t do this without you.”
She visibly swallows a lump in her throat and shakes her head. “I don’t know what to say. Except that maybe you need a moment to think everything through. Take your time before making any big decisions.”
I have to bite back a laugh. “I don’t need time, Dani. I’ve had time. I don’t think I would have made the same choices a few months ago. But now I’m confident. I’ve grown.”
Dani finally smiles and it lights up her face. “Did you come to that realization all on your own? That you’ve grown. Because I couldn’t agree more,” she says before patting me on the back, causing me to chuckle.
“I sure did.” I wink. “Although I think Vegas helped with it. At least it cemented my thoughts.”
Dani’s eyes flash to mine, and her smile fades, making me frown along with her.
“Will you tell me about Vegas?” she asks hesitantly. “Or more specifically, your heart?”
I smile softly and nod, knowing this was coming at some point.
“I can,” I say with my hand gripping my neck. “But it’s kind of a long story.”
Dani’s small fingers wrap around my thigh, and she gives me a squeeze before her eyes lock with mine. “I’ve got time.”
It’s not time I’m worried about.
When we get inside, I walk Dani to the couch and sit her down, but remain standing in front of her, my breath caught in my throat. It’s not until she patiently smiles that I’m able to breathe again, as a new confidence runs through me. I can do this.
“I was almost twenty when they discovered my heart condition,” I start, my pulse instantly spiking.
“I’d just placed second for the first time in my surfing career, and I could practically see myself securing the top spot at the next event. I was on fire. In fact, I’m shocked you’ve never heard of me, to be honest,” I joke, needing to lighten the mood for my own sake more than hers.
Dani offers me a smile but doesn’t laugh, so I will myself to continue. “Anyway. I was working myself to the bone with early morning training and late nights. Then, one day, my body just retaliated, and I wound up in the hospital with a bad heart and shattered dreams. When the doctors told me I couldn’t surf professionally anymore, I was so devastated, it threw me into one of the darkest stages of my life. It’s something I still haven’t quite come to terms with, choosing to pretend it’s not real. I guess that’s part of the reason I never speak about it.”
Dani frowns with her hand resting on her chest, maybe thinking about what’s inside mine. “God, Logan. I can’t even imagine. What happened back then? Was it a heart attack? Or…oh my gosh.” She gasps before looking toward the sky and back to me. “Is it hereditary?”
I nod, because that’s something I’m definitely not ready to talk about.Can’t get any more real than that.
“Oh, Logan…” Dani starts with that look in her eyes, the one that says she feels sorry for me. “I—”
“Nope.” I cut her off quickly “I don’t want your pity.Please. That makes it so much worse.”
Her lips pull into another frown, but she nods and motions for me to continue, dropping her hands back to her lap.
“Thank you. Life kind of changed for me after that. I’m not saying I was a saintbeforeI found out, because I was a young professional surfer, traveling the world on my own. There was nothing saintly about me. ButafterI found out about my heart, I definitely used it as an excuse to fuck around and avoid commitment, to never get too close to anyone for fear of breaking something that was already so damaged. And since I couldn’t drink, I found another vice…women.” My face contorts at how bad that sounds now, but when Dani half smiles, I relax.
“Understandable,” she says, though I’m not sure how much she actually understands because I doubt she’d have reacted the same way.
Sitting down beside her, I lean forward and brush a hair behind her ear, which I do often—whenever the need to touch her takes over. And like always, she shivers—something I’m not even sure she realizes that she does.
When her eyes meet mine, I can’t stop my smile. “Then I met you, Dani. And my view changed. I wanted to ignore my reasons so badly, but when Dad died and you decided to keep things casual, I figured I could have you without risking both our hearts. Because what if I let you fall in love with me and something happened to me? You’ve already lost so much and—”
“Shouldn’t that be my choice, though?” she asks, cutting me off. And she’s absolutely right.
“Yes, I see that now. But when all the stuff with Liam happened, it felt easier to say goodbye. The last thing I wanted to do was walk away from you, but with that and my mom… It just felt like the right thing to do for everyone involved. At the time anyway…” I trail off because I will always wish I’d done things differently. But I didn’t. Another thing that’s fucked-up.
“I never faulted you for that, Logan,” Dani says, easing my mind. “In fact, it made me like you a little more.”
I huff out a laugh and shake my head. “God, Dani, I wish I’d known the truth. We could have avoided all of this.”
“Or maybe we’d never have met.”
I pause at that, thinking it through, but it doesn’t take long for me to reject the idea. “I refuse to believe that. In my mind, we were absolutely meant to meet. I feel that down to my soul, and you will never convince me otherwise.”
