Page 33 of It Had To Be Us


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It’s not fun when the tables are turned, is it, Luce?

On Wednesday afternoon, I borrow Joel’s motorcycle to visit my parents. Liam’s always bugging Joel to sit on it, and I feel bad making him give us more of his time than he already does, even though he continues to tell me he enjoys it.

I cruise around for a while, still shocked at the fact that Joel actually lets me ride his pride and joy, so I always make the most of it.

When I finally pull up in my parents’ driveway, I pause, taking in the off-white clapboard home, the front garden that’s in need of some love, and a front door that could do with another coat of paint. All things I’d usually offer to help Dad with. God, I’m such a shit son at the moment. I’m surprised Mom’s not more on my case about it.

Liam’s little face peers through the curtains, and he jumps up and down before disappearing.

I expect him to come running outside, but it’s not Liam that appears when the front door opens. It’s Dad. And he doesn’t look happy.

“You really think that riding a motorcycle is a good idea? Anything could happen,” he yells without even a hello.

“Like what?” I throw my hands in the air though I know what he’s thinking.

“An accident. Think about Liam. He can’t lose you too.”

I huff out a breath, but the thought of that stings a little. “Am I also supposed to stop driving my car?”

Dad huffs back and turns to walk away, grumbling over his shoulder. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“I don’t need your advice, Dad. You’re not exactly an upstanding citizen.”

He stops suddenly, his fists clenching at his sides. When he turns, his expression is somber. “I love you, Son. So much. And I hate this. Hate it. But—”

“Not now, Liam’s about to—”

“It’s here! Joel’s bike is here!” Liam runs out the door, finishing my sentence with his actions, and Dad frowns.

“Be careful there, little bud,” he says as Liam almost runs straight into me and the bike. And with one last sad look my way, he walks to his car and drives away, leaving me feeling confused as always.

“Can we go for a ride, Loge?” Liam says, practically climbing into my lap.

I bark out a laugh, lifting him back to the ground. “No, we cannot. First, we’ve got dinner, and then Joel said you can sit on it and rev the engine.”

“Yes!” Liam yells and runs into the house, unknowingly giving me a moment to collect myself.

The house smells amazing when I finally walk inside, and when I find Mom and Liam in the kitchen, Mom frowns when she sees me alone.

I internally grimace as the guilt takes over again. “Dad left,” I say with an apologetic smile, watching as Mom’s eyes widen at my sadness instead of anger.

“Okay, dinner is ready. Your dad will eat later.”

When we’re finished with our meal, Liam runs off to get his fake leather jacket, just like Joel’s, and Mom moves to sit beside me.

“What happened?”

Burying my face in my hands, I shake my head, only lifting my eyes so I can talk to her. “I was my usual asshole self, but he’s starting to wear me down.”

Tears well in her eyes. “Oh, Logan. I really wish things were different. You don’t understand.”

“I know. And while I do respect your choices, you’re right, I don’t understand them. Ireally wish you’d have held him more accountable, but sometimes our wishes don’t come true.”

Mom’s face pales, and the guilt hits me as I walk away. Maybe it’s time I showed some maturity and sat down to talk to them both about it all. To get everything out in the open. But after all this time, I don’t even know where to begin.

We spend a ridiculously long time pretending to ride Joel’s motorcycle, until Liam finally decides he’s had enough.

“Can I take you surfing with me on Sunday, Booger?” I ask, thinking it could be my chance to see Dani too, if he invites her along.

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