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I sense his knowing look before I see it. “Maybe because you like her.”
He’s right. But…
“When did that happen? When did it go from me playing around to her being the only girl I see?”
Joel freezes. “I didn’t realize you had it that bad.”
I scratch my head as I contemplate his words. “Neither did I.”
But now that I think about it, she’s been in my head since the day on the beach, the day we don’t talk about. The day she wrote her name across my heart and I never even realized it.
Board in hand, I run along the beach, looking for the best place to enter the water. I know this stretch of sand like the back of my hand. I’ve been coming here for years. Only it’s been staggered visits of late. The odd day here and there when I come to visit Summer.
As I look out to the horizon, watching other surfers glide across the crest of a wave, a feeling of uncertainty takes over me. That was my life. All my days were spent on those waves or others around the world, and even though it’s been years, I still want that life back. The life I fought so hard to keep, until in the end, it didn’t matter. There was nothing I could do to change my path.
I’m not sure why some days are harder than others. This past year has been a shitstorm with my dad’s lies and betrayal. I guess today is just one of those days where burying my feelings isn’t an option. The waves often bring that out of me. These waves in particular. This beach. It was my home for so long and holds so many memories, good and bad.
I was discovered here; I met my trainer here. The man who helped me strive to make it to the pro circuit. It was also here I was told we were moving, that life as I knew it was about to change. And it was here that I…Danny?
Abandoning my train of thought, I’m distracted by the beautiful girl I met six months ago. Shoes in hand, she’s walking along the water’s edge, earbuds in, looking into the distance, completely lost in thought.
Without knowing what she’s thinking, I can tell that she’s sad. There’s a slight frown where her smile should be, and even from a short distance away I can see the pain in her eyes. I’m drawn to her and yet I feel like I should stay away.
She doesn’t notice me staring as she walks up the beach and sits down on a towel that was already laid out, wrapping her arms around her legs. When she closes her eyes, my heart clenches, wondering what she’s going through. Is she broken like me?
Shaking off my thoughts, I drop my things to the sand and take off in a run toward the waves, needing a distraction. If she’s still there when I’m done, I’ll talk to her.
An hour later, I bodysurf back to the shore and find Danny standing in front of me. She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Sandy? I thought that was you.”
I smile back at her, shocked and pleased that she remembered my name. Well, my fake name anyway. “I’m going to be honest. I saw you earlier but didn’t want to interrupt your moment. Are you okay?”
“I wasn’t, but I will be. It was a pleasant distraction watching you surf. You’re phenomenal.”
This is the moment I’d usually grin proudly and talk myself up, but for some reason, I don’t. “Thank you. I love it out there.”
Danny’s lips twitch, curling slightly into a more genuine smile. “Then your name suits you.”
I bark out a laugh and shake my head. “Thanks, I’m pretty proud of it,” I say, bouncing my eyebrows hoping to cheer her up.
Relief hits me when she laughs along, and our conversation turns lighter, with me trying to keep that smile on her face.
Whenit’s time to part ways, I ask for her number, needing a way to check up on her, and have to hide my surprise when she actually gives it to me.
We say our goodbyes, and as she walks away, she looks back over her shoulder with her smile beaming back at me, in complete contrast to how she was when I first saw her, and my entire body relaxes. She’s not okay, I know that, but maybe she’s at least a little better.
“Of all the people I could have run into today, I’m glad it was you,” Danny calls out, right before she reaches the parking lot. Her nose crinkles as she does, like that’s something she’s not sure she should admit to.
“It had to be me,” I call back. “Danny and Sandy forever.”
She shakes her head and giggles as she turns her back to me, and I don’t look away until she’s gone, all while the sound of her laughter runs on repeat through my mind.
Chapter Fourteen
Dani
It’sbeenalmostaweek. A week since my stupid closet moment with Logan, and I’m stillsoangry with myself. Why? Why would I allow that to happen? That’s not me. I don’t do that. We haven’t even kissed or been on a date. I don’t even like him that way.Okay, maybe I do. A little. And I definitely liked what he did to me, but that’s not the point. I hate myself for it. It would have been my twelve-year anniversary with Eric this week. Twelve years. And it’s not like he chose to leave me. It wasn’t his choice. Shouldn’t I be honoring him or something? Shouldn’t I be keeping my hands to myself? At least, until…until what, I have no idea. I don’t know how this works. But I know I feel so damn guilty every second of every day. He had dreams; we were going to get married. And I’m here, without him, letting someone else touch me.What is wrong with me?
