AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m here, Logan. I’m here.”
His whole body shakes, like he’s uncontrollably crying, but I don’t hear a sound. Nor do I say anything myself, my own silent tears cascading down my face.
Memories of my own father pop into my head. And suddenly my mind flashes to Liam. He’s just lost his second parent within a few years, and probably doesn’t even know it. My stomach tightens as I think about what that means, but when Logan starts to sniff and pulls away to rub his eyes, I decide to trust in Jenny to look after him. Logan needs me right now.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m…” He looks away, as though embarrassed to be seen in his current state. And he shouldn’t be.God, I feel for him.
Framing his face with my hands, I lift his head slightly until he’s forced to look at me, then press my forehead to his.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m here, in whatever capacity you need me,” I whisper, my eyes locked on his.
Logan shakes his head. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anything good in my life. He died, Dani. He died thinking I hated him. And why? Because I’m so messed up that after having it really good all my life, I couldn’t cope when something bad came my way. Couldn’t handle the fact that my dad was human. That he was capable of making mistakes.
“He called and I never called him back. And now he’s gone. And I’ll…fuck.”
“No, no.” I hold his head still and look into his eyes. “Logan, he knows. Parentsalwaysknow. He would have been proud of you for sticking up for your mom. For not letting him get away with what he did.”
He leans back slightly, breaking our connection. “You don’t know that. You can’t.”
“You’re right. I don’t know that. But you can’t let this ruin you. He wouldn’t want it to ruin you. No parent would want that.”
Before he says anything else, I crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. “Don’t. Please, I beg you. Don’t blame yourself for this. We’ll get through it, I promise.”
“Fuck, Dani.”
He curls his arms up under mine and holds onto my shoulders, burrowing his face into my neck.
“You’re too good for me,” he whispers, so softly I’m not sure he intends for me to hear it. But I do. And my heart breaks. Because he’s wrong.
“Logan, you’re not—”
“A bad person?” he says, lifting me off his lap and standing up. “Is that what you were going to say?”
“No, actually. I—”
“Because I am,” he says, cutting me off for a second time. “My father just died, and do you want to know what went through my head when you crawled into my lap just now?”
“I—”
“Kissingyou,” he says, once again not letting me speak. “I want to kiss you. After all that’s happened. What does that say about me?” His voice breaks as he speaks, his feelings obviously paining him. “I want to kiss you so badly. But for that reason and more, you deserve better than someone like me.”
I know what he’s doing, but I’m not even sure he realizes it himself. The guilt’s kicked in, and now he’s trying anything he can to push me away. To punish himself. But I’m not going to let that happen. He needs me. And I’m going to prove to him that he’s wrong.
“Kiss me,” I demand, stopping him in his tracks as he paces the room.
“What?”
“Kiss me.”
A pained expression crosses his face before he drops to the ground again and presses his forehead to mine. “Dani.”
“Logan. Ineedyou to kiss me.”
He groans before his hands cup my face, and his lips crash to mine, the impact of it sending us both backward into the wall. But as I suspected, he only kisses me for a minute before his body starts shaking again, and his lips leave mine. “I can’t. I can’t. He’s gone.” His head falls into my lap as his arms wrap around my waist. “I’m so sorry. God, I’m sorry.”
I hold him silently, certain he’s talking to his dad and not me, letting him grieve in his own way. When he looks up at me a few minutes later, he actually has the smallest smile on his face. “You knew, didn’t you?” My brows furrow until he adds, “You knew that’s what I’d do.”
Yep. I knew. I knew kissing me would bring out his emotions, because what he really wanted to do was hate himself even more than he already does.
