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“She is,” I say, my heart pounding at the sound of her name.Fuck, I’ve got it bad.And yet, I haven’t spoken to her since she walked out…yesterday morning? Or was it Tuesday night?Jesus! I am an asshole but now is not the time to think about it.“Does he know?” I ask, trying to push my freak-out from my mind.
“We’re telling him tonight.”
That has my body stiffening. “We?”
“Dani and I. We’re showing him he has a family. You should be there.”
Yeah, I fucking should be.Were either of them going to tell me about it?
“I’ll be there. What time’s he getting home? Will I get to see him beforehand?”
“He’ll be home around four.”
“Good. I’ll stay then.”
When was all this organized? And Dani’s been talking to my mom, but she hasn’t called me?God, I sound pathetic.This isn’t even about me.
“There’s one more thing,” Mom says, breaking into my thoughts. “A few weeks back, your dad did a paternity test.”
What?!
My eyes flash to hers, confusion all over my face. “Did you know? Was he sick?”
Mom’s eyes widen, as if it never occurred to her that my mind would go there. “God, no.No. We would have told you.”
“Really? Because it feels like I’ve been kept out of the loop for a lot lately. Don’t you think that’s something I might have wanted to know? Also, why did he suddenly think hewasn’tLiam’s father? What other secrets was he hiding?”
Again, this isn’t about me, but it kind of makes me feel like shit if I’m being honest.So many fucking secrets?
“Logan, I—”
“Don’t worry about it, Mom. Now’s not the time. I’m glad Liam has you. But can you honestly say the paternity test had nothing to do with Dad’s health?” Seems strange he would only find out officially now after all this time. A thought pops into my head and I freeze, clutching my own heart. “Had I been causing him too much stress? Was he having episodes?”
Panic crosses Mom’s face as she shakes her head. “Sweetie, no. I can honestly say it wasn’t for that reason. We had no signs for your dad. You didn’t cause his heart attack. I promise you. You need to scratch that from your mind, right now. He just wanted to know for sure and… We can talk more later, but you didn’t cause any of this.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.” She looks so worried, and it’s only then that I realize things with Liam must be up in the air. Even if the test came back positive that Dad was Liam’s father, Mom’s not a blood relative. What happens in circumstances like this?
“Is he Liam’s dad?” I ask, nerves running through me. “Liam’s going to be okay, right?”What happens if he’s not?
“It’s all okay. Liam is staying with us.”Well, that’s a relief.
I’m about to ask for more details when she changes the subject, filling me in on the plans she’s already made for the funeral—which I really should have helped with. And while we discuss every detail, my heart sits firmly lodged in my throat. Even now I’m not ready for any of this, and she’s been doing it all alone.
“I might need help going through your father’s things,” Mom says, catching me off guard a couple of hours later. I’m making myself a sandwich and already struggling to keep my shit together after helping to decide what shirt Dad should be buried in, and whether or not we should wear black.
“Do we need to do that today?” I ask slowly, not wanting to upset Mom if that’s something she needs to do.
“God, no. I just have this list running through my head, and if I don’t share it with someone, I’m scared I’ll forget.”
My chest tightens as I watch her so obviously trying to keep herself together when she has every right to fall apart.
“Why don’t you off-load it all on me? Every item on your list. We can tackle it together.”
Tears prick her eyes, and she nods before folding herself into my arms, something she’s done many times today. “I don’t know how to do this, Loge. I’ve never been alone. It’s been me and your dad since I moved out of my childhood home after college. How do I keep going without him?”
I don’t know what to say, but I’m almost thankful Dad had an affair now. She’s not going to be alone. She’s got me, and she’s going to have Liam. We need to make sure of that. He needs her, and maybe that will be a distraction.
“Do you… Ah… Do you want me to come home for a bit?” I offer, though I’m not sure what I’ll do if she says yes.
