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Mom laughs through her tears. “Oh, Logan. Even if you’d asked that with conviction, I would have said no. I don’t have time to raise two kids.”
“Hey! I’m not a kid.”
“Oh, so you’d help with the cooking and cleaning and washing and shopping and—”
“Ugh. How about I just visit more? I’m a‘do stuff when it’s absolutely necessary’kind of guy.”
Mom laughs again. “I know. I’m your mother.”
“And what an amazing mother you are.” I smile wide and lightly bump shoulders with her. “Liam’s going to be just fine. How can he not be? He has you.”
Her smile drops slightly for a second before she recovers, making me hug her even tighter. She may be doubting herself, but I know she can do this.
When Liam gets home, I have to bite my cheek to hold off the tears that threaten to fall. He’s too young to have lost any parent, let alone both, and I don’t know how he’s going to get through it.
We spend the afternoon building forts and playing with blocks, and by the time Dani arrives, I’m emotionally spent from having to hold everything back. I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and apologize for not talking to her sooner. Because life is too fucking short. Nerves run through me, and it's a foreign feeling.Fuck, I hope I haven’t messed things up between us.I’m not the guy that worries about how a girl feels about him. Unless she’s getting in my face about it. With Dani, I’m concerned. I need to know we’re okay.
But when she greets me with a relaxed smile on her face and a pat on the arm, I'm worried for a different reason. She’s acting as though nothing has changed between us. We’re still just two friends getting to know each other. Two people that happen to share a connection through Liam, and that’s far from how I feel.
“Dani, about the other night—”
“I had fun,” she cuts me off. “Maybe we can do it again sometime,” she adds with a wink. A wink.What the fuck?!I guess there was no apology needed; she’s totally fine.
But am I?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dani
Thisisn’tatallwhat I expected, but maybe it’s what I need. After sleeping with someone new for the first time, I honestly thought I’d be anxiously waiting by the phone, wondering how the other person felt. But with Logan, even though I’ve seen hints of something more, I knew there was a chance he wouldn’t call after and I took that risk. Because in that moment, I wanted him, consequences be damned.
I tried so hard not to get caught up in the sweet-talking or the body-melting smiles or his touch…God, his touch.But how could I not when everything about him was calling to me?
And now…now I’m going to treat the situation like I know it is. A casual thing between friends. Or maybe just a one-off. Because if I tell myself it’s more than that, I’m likely to get hurt.
And since I have more important things to worry about right now, that’s probably for the best.
After leaving Logan’s in the middle of the night, my mind went to Liam as soon as my head hit the pillow and a panic took over. He lost his dad. I may have made plans in case that very thing happened, but I honestly never thought that it would. At least until he was old enough to take care of himself.But God, what do I do?
I’d never really thought through the finer details of my plan. How can I go through with it now that I know Jenny and Logan? I need to at least talk to them first and explain my view. But now is definitely not the time for that. Not when they’ve just suffered such a loss. A loss that I completely understand. I’ve been there. I’ve lost my dad too, and I know there’s no way they’ll be in the right headspace to make big decisions. Even if it’s the right thing to do.
I spent most of that night lying awake and running the options through my head over and over. Sleep didn’t come until the early hours but when it did, it hit hard. The emotional toll of the past couple of days finally caught up with me.
While at work the next day, I was a mess. After calling my lawyers to put a hold on the custody case, I gathered my strength and called Logan’s mom, desperate to know how Liam was coping. Wondering if he’d been told at all. But when she asked me to be there to tell Liam—to help—I had mixed feelings. I understood her reasons and wanted to be a comfort to him, but the thought of actually doing it now has me feeling incredibly tense.
By the drive over on Thursday, I’m a wreck. I’m not sure if I can do this. Getting to know Liam these past few months has been wonderful, and I love him, but was I kidding myself to think I could handle the big moments like this?
Eric and I were together for almost ten years before he died and never once spoke about having kids. There’s a reason for that. And that reason is me.
I love kids. I loveLiam. But I’ve never felt ready. Yet, as I think about Liam and all that he’s been through, I want to be ready for him. I want to be able to help him through this and everything life throws at him from here on out. So, when things calm down, I have to talk to Jenny about it. No matter how hard that might be.
I park in front of the house and sit for a few minutes before getting out of the car. The past thirty-six hours have been rough for me, coming face-to-face with some life-changing decisions, and that’s nothing compared to what the people inside have had to endure.
I need to suck it up and go in there. Current thoughts aside, Liam needs me and that’s why I’m here.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly walk up the drive and knock, a nervousness consuming me. But as soon as the door opens and I see Logan casually leaning against the wall, his eyes locked on mine, something clicks, and all my worries fade away.
We’ve only just got the awkward “about last night” conversation out of the way when Logan’s mom greets me and asks if I’m ready. I’m not—at all. But I definitely feel stronger than I did ten minutes ago.
