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As the sun starts to set and Jenny takes Liam to his room for some quiet time, I make my way into the yard and watch the skies darken, almost like a metaphor for my life over the years—the darkness that seeped in as I was forced to experience one loss after another. But, as with real life, at the exact moment I expect the black night to take over, a little brightness shines through. In the sky, it’s the stars, and in reality, it’s Logan. Appearing now, right when I’m at a low point. As always.
“Thanks for helping with Liam today,” he says as he comes to a stop beside me, mirroring my stance. “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
I force my lips into a smile but don’t look his way. “I’ll always be there for him. No matter what. Even if he doesn’t need me. But you would have been fine today. Your grandparents were there to help.”
I feel Logan’s eyes on my face but can’t bring myself to look at him yet. Scared of what I might see, what I might feel.
“That’s not true, and you know it. Liam needed you.Ineeded you. And though you may not have meant to be there for me, you absolutely were, simply bybeing.”
My heart skips as I finally look his way, shocked at the sincerity in his expression. Though I shouldn’t be. I’ve never had any reason to believe he’s not being his true self around me and yet I keep freaking questioning it.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Logan. I can’t even remember if I’ve said that.”
Logan huffs out a laugh. “That’s all anyone’s been saying today. I came over here to escape that.”
I cringe, my face scrunching apologetically. “How about…it’s fucking bullshit, thisworldis fucking bullshit, and it really sucks to be you right now,” I say with a shrug.
Logan’s eyes widen before he bursts out laughing. “That’s so much better. Thank you. I needed that.”
I squeak out a “Good,” and then turn back to look at the sky, trying not to show emotion.
“You’re really struggling right now, aren’t you?” he says, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “How badly do you want to apologize?”
I release a held breath and deflate before squeezing my eyes shut. “So badly. My words may have been true, but that outburst was not appropriate for a wake.”
Logan’s hand brushes against mine, and the next thing I know, he’s cupping my shoulders, standing right in front of me.
“I don’t give a fuck what is or isn’t appropriate for a day like today, because you are right. It sucks to be me, and I just want it to be over.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“Nope, I don’t accept your apology. Own it. Because it’s the most real thing anyone has said to me today.”
I offer him a small nod, just as the Friendsgiving crew—the name I’ve now given the collective group—make their way outside, heading off in different directions.
I catch the end of Summer and Cory’s whispered conversation as they walk toward us and look away before I’m caught staring.
“Shh, Summer. Now’s not the time.”
“Why? He’d want to know.”
“Know what?” Logan asks, obviously hearing what I did.
Cory shies away, and I assume I’ll never find out, until Summer blurts out a “Sorry” and announces, “Cory and Nate are getting married.”
“Summer!” Cory scolds, her shocked gaze flashing to Logan’s.
“Didn’t we already know that?” Logan jokes and the girls laugh.
“I mean, they’re getting marriedsoon. They’ve set a date. Without us.”
I’m confused by the “without us” comment but when a smile lights up Logan’s face, and it’s the happiest I’ve seen him all day, I smile too. “Cory, that’s amazing. Congratulations,” he says, pulling her into a hug, until she breaks away from his hold.
“Thank you, but we are not talking about this today.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re at your father’s funeral,” she whispers, like it’s a secret, a slight blush crossing her face.
