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But she’s scared.
She’s so fucking scared of taking a chance on us that there’s still a possibility she might push me away. I probably should have been more open about my feelings, but at the time, I didn’t think she could handle much more. And I wanted her to make the decision on her own. To take the plunge. To swim out into the waves and stand, even if there’s a chance of crashing into the surf.
Because as much as I’d love to think nothing could come between us, there’s always a risk of heartbreak when you put yourself out there. But just like any other risk, you have to decide whether or not it outweighs the reward. And for me, Dani is worth it.
We don’t see each other Friday, or over the weekend, and by Monday, I’m having withdrawals, even though this is normal for us. We hardly ever see each other daily, and yet, that’s exactly what I want—to see her every day. Her smile, her frown, her anger, all of it. I’ll take it all.
So with Dani once again at the forefront of my mind when my last class finishes for the day, I pull out my phone and send her a gif of Maverick, along with another of a guy bouncing his eyebrows.
As expected, I get an eye roll emoji in return, but then a gif of Sandy in her leather outfit comes through, and I burst out laughing.
Logan: I would do just about anything to see you in that
I don’t get a reply straight away. In fact, it’s not until I’m jumping out of the shower later that evening that she finally writes back.
Dani: Tell me about it, Stud
And, I’m in love.
Yep, I said it. The way my heart continuously pounds in my chest, and the fact that she’s always on my mind suggests I’ve probably felt it for a while, but for now I’m ignoring it. I reply with an emoji instead. The love thing can be a problem for another day.
By Wednesday afternoon, I have to hand in my portrait portfolio for my Mastering Light class, and to be done with it is a relief. Give me live action any day of the week, and I’ll nail it. Portraits are not my strong suit.
The deadline is five p.m., and as I slide it onto the desk at four forty-six, I’m still not convinced it’s my best work. But it’s done now, and I can’t change it. So, as I walk to my car, I try not to think about angles, and shading, and that damn f-stop but instead think about what it would be like to photograph Dani. Naked. Sprawled out on my bed.Naked. Did I say that already?
I have to admit, my mind has gone to naked Dani a few times since kissing her goodbye last week, but it’s actually the feeling I get around her that I miss the most.Jesus! What’s come over me? What is it about her?
I’m internally arguing with myself about what it could be when my phone rings in my hand, and the word Mom flashes across the screen, reminding me that I’m running late to meet her.
Shit!
I pick up my pace, rushing past all the people milling around campus, suddenly very aware of how slow college students are.
“I’m on my way, I promise,” I laugh as I answer the phone. I’m supposed to be meeting her and Liam at the park closest to their house. He just got a skateboard and wants me to teach him how to use it.
Mom’s silent for a moment, and I almost laugh at her apparent butt dial until I hear a sniff and panic. “Mom?”
“They want to take him away, Logan. They’re trying to take Liam away.”
My legs stop working, and I freeze midstep, jolting forward when someone crashes into me from behind.
“Watch it, asshole,” the guy mumbles, but I don’t respond. I’m shocked to my core.
So many things run through my head—who is “they” and why haven’t we heard about them? Can someone actually do that? Does Liam know? How did this happen? But my biggest concern is what this will do to both Mom and Liam emotionally. I’m not sure either of them can take any more heartbreak.
We don’t go to the park as planned. Instead, I spend the evening with Mom, trying to make sense of everything she’s saying.
Thankfully, my grandparents took Liam out so Mom and I could talk, because there was no way I was holding back the language that came flying from my mouth. Even now, my heart’s still lodged firmly in my throat, and I want to scream.
When I arrived at her place, Mom was a lot calmer than I thought she’d be after the frantic call. But whenshe told me it was Dani filing for custody, and I flew off the handle, clutching at my chest with the pain that ran through me, she suddenly looked more worried.Did she think I’d be able to talk Dani out of it?
“I didn’t know, Mom,” I promise once I’ve calmed down slightly. “What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? What would you do if it were you? Would you fight her?”
My brows furrow as I consider that for a second before I laugh. “If it was me, I’d have to sign Liam over to her. I’m not fit to be a parent. But you, you’ve been raising him for almost two years. You may not be blood, but you can fight it. We can fight it.”
I feel sick as the words come out of my mouth, thinking about the fact that it’s Dani we’ll be fighting. I’m still so shocked, but I’m also so angry because how can she do this? How can she put my mom and Liam through this right now?
