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I expect that to be the end of the conversation. That when the money shows up in his account, we’ll be done with it. But I’m wrong, and fuck I wish I wasn’t.
Chapter Forty-One
Lucy
It’salmostaweekafter the fact, and I still feel sick over what happened with Greg and Katie. She hasn’t mentioned it much since Monday, so I’m hopeful that means she’s okay, and not that she’s too traumatized to talk. I don’t even really know what happened. I have both of their stories, but God only knows if Greg is being honest. All I have to go by is how angry Wes was when he dropped Katie home, and the way she clung to him like a lifeline.
If he hadn’t been there…no, I can’t think that.
I’ve got to bring myself out of this fog I’m in.
After Katie had fallen asleep that night, I slid down the wall opposite her room, dropped my head in my hands, and cried. Tears fell until I reached the point of hyperventilating, struggling to take in air as the severity of my mistake consumed me.
I can’t continue to live like that, but it’s not going away. I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I’d been on edge from the moment Katie left in Greg’s car, but when she got home, with Wes, it took all of my strength to hold myself together until I was alone.Why would I allow that? Why didn’t I go with them?Everything I’ve done, all my life, has been for Katie, and then I make that colossal mistake. I’ll never forgive myself for it. I shouldn’t have trusted in that message he sent. The one that convinced me to say yes. It was absolutely bullshit because he didn’t protect her at all.
Greg: Thank you, Lucy. I promise I’ll take care of her with my life. She means the world to me. I’m so grateful to you for letting me get to know her better
While the tears may have slowed down, they still come, every night, as soon as Katie’s asleep, and maybe I deserve that. To forever feel like I failed my daughter. Like I failed as a mother. Because make no mistake. I absolutely did.
Even now while I’m in the ring, attempting to throw a few punches at my sparring partner, I can’t get my mind to stop. I try to remain focused on my movement, my technique…hell, even my instructor…but nothing seems to be working and I’m off my game, which has never happened to me before. This is usually my outlet. The way I rid myself of negativity. But right now my practice partner, Gina, is totally kicking my ass.
How could I be so stupid?I’m supposed to be stronger. Katie is the most important person in my life, and I fucked up. Greg shouldn’t have had alone time with her. I knew in my gut it was the wrong decision but as with the past, he managed to get his way, and this time it could have been fatal.
A fist connects with my shoulder, and I flinch with the pain.Jesus. I need to concentrate. Standing tall, I bounce on my toes a few times and assess my position before attempting a jab. I barely clip Gina’s arm as she moves away, and I curse under my breath.
Dammit!
But how could Wes put me in such a difficult situation? While Greg didn’t exactly threaten to press charges against him, he mentioned the fact that hehadn’tenough to reiterate that he could. And if Greg presses charges against Wes, the media would be all over it. They’d drag Katie into it, and Dylan. None of it would bode well if there was ever a custody battle. I just—
Oof, fuck!Gina gut punches me, literally, and it’s exactly what I deserve. In fact, I deserve a lot more than that. I’m not perfect, but I should have followed my instincts and kept Katie home, something I’ll always regret.
God, get out of your head, Lucy.
Gina hits me three more times before the trainer calls time on our session. She packs a mean punch, and it’s obvious I’m not coping. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did.
After apologizing profusely for lack of competition, I head off for a cooldown on the treadmill, still needing to do something to release this tension. I’m covered in sweat and feeling a little achy—okay, a lot achy—when Joel walks in.
“What are you doing here?” I puff out, wiping the water from my brow.
“Been coming every day since our session a while back.”
At that I smile. “Bullshit.”
“Okay, you got me; the trainers are hot.” He bounces his eyebrows and looks behind me. Since I know my trainer, Anika, just left, I burst out laughing before looking at the guys he’s referring to. I mean…
“Tell me I’m wrong?”
“I can’t. You’re not wrong. Butwhy are you here?”
Joel sighs. “I wanted to talk about Greg. I’m here for a workout too. It’s just, whenever I come to your house, Katie’s there…obviously. So we can never really discuss him.”
I take a deep breath and stop my machine.
“Go ahead. What do you have to say on my least favorite topic?”
Joel drops down on a bench against the wall and pats the seat beside him, crinkling his nose when I sit.
“Shut up, you accosted me in a gym. I’m allowed to smell.”
