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Silent tears fall down my face as I stare at my bag, a panic taking over me. I’ve been on the sugar pills. I should have my periodright now. I shouldn’t have been able to have sex with Wes. How did I not notice that? And why hasn’t it come? Fuck, this can’t be happening. I can’t even remember my last period. Was it last month? The one before?
I’m stressed, and I’ve only just started with this particular brand of pill, so more than likely it’s just my body adjusting. Right? That’s it. It’s fine.I’m fine.
There are so many possibilities for my lack of period. It’sfine.
I repeat the words over and over, but the tears continue to fall, and deep down, I know I’m lying to myself.How the fuck could he do this to me?Bile rises in my throat, as an aching throb fills my head. And when my body convulses, I drop to the floor, curling up into a ball.
I cry for what feels like hours, until the need for confirmation takes over. After pulling myself together for just long enough to focus, I grab my purse and head for the nearest pharmacy.
Sinking down onto the sand, I bury my face in my hands, letting the tears return. I did a test in the gas station bathroom across the road, and just like that dirty stall, my life’s about to be a mess.
“Are you okay?” a soft voice asks from above me, breaking my thoughts. I frantically wipe my face before looking up into weathered eyes full of warmth and concern, and my tears once again fall.
“Not really,” I say honestly, jumping slightly when she rests her hand on my shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.
“I’m a little old to sit down beside you,” she says, unperturbed by my physical reaction to her. “But there’s a bench over there if you want to talk about it.”
I laugh between sniffles and find myself nodding without giving it any thought, completely out of character for me.
Brushing the sand from my legs as I stand, I smile at my savior. She’s warmly smiling back at me, but I can see the concern etched in her expression and can only imagine what she sees when she looks at me.
“Come on, let’s sit. I’m Katie,” she says, motioning the way.
“Thank you, Katie.”
Tears start to well again, but I brush them away before following her to the bench seat and taking my position beside her. We both stare out into the ocean, silently listening to the waves crash against the shore, watching the rhythmic way the water flows. At least, that’s what I’m doing, and the kind woman beside me lets me have my moment. She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask me to talk—she’s just a comfortable source, patiently waiting for me to be ready.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and let the words flow for the first time. “I’m pregnant.”
Katie pats my leg softly but still doesn’t speak, as if knowing there’s more to it, more I need to get off my chest. So I continue. “The baby is my ex’s. And he…” I can’t say the rest. I can’t talk about what happened. But she doesn’t need to know the details. The tone of my voice and the tears in my eyes are enough to tell her this isn’t something I wanted to happen.
Wrapping me in a hug, she rubs her hands up and down my arms as I cry, letting me completely lose my mind, never once letting go. She whispers soothing words of encouragement, and I take it all in. It’s the exact reaction I’d have expected from my mother if she hadn’t distanced herself from us emotionally after my father died, something that I’m sure has led to my hardened shell and the fact I don’t let anyone in.
Katie stays with me for what feels like hours without me giving her any real information. She lets me cry, tells me it’s going to be okay, offers to help in any way she can. And she’s so freaking patient.
She’s a complete stranger, and she’s giving me more support than my own mother has in years. But I can’t keep her here any longer. She has a life to get back to.
I sniff a few times and run my hands down my face, attempting to clear away all the sadness displayed there. Smiling over at her, I’m about to tell her I’m fine when she beats me to it, shaking her head.
“You’ve got me for as long as you need me, but is there someone we can call?”
My brows furrow as I consider her question. Dylan’s my emergency contact, my one call from jail, my go-to guy. But he’s not ready for this, and I’m not ready to tell him. He’ll fly off the handle. He means well, but I can see his anger at the situation overshadowing the need to comfort me. Summer would be the next obvious choice, but I can’t expect her to keep this from Dylan—it’s not fair. And she shouldn’t have to deal with that fallout. After those two, Wes comes to mind, and my stomach twists in knots. He doesn’t need this right now. I don’t even know what I’m going to do with my life. I can’t bring someone else into the mix.
When I think of the next person, I don’t even hesitate. “My friend Joel. He’ll be here in a heartbeat,” I say, knowing he’s the best option.
Just over an hour later, I hear Joel’s motorcycle pull into the parking lot, and feel a weight lift. “Lucy?” he calls out in concern as he jogs toward us, his eyes bouncing between me and the kind soul by my side. As soon as he reaches us, he engulfs me in a hug, holding me tightly without asking why. I’d probably cry if I had any tears left, but I don’t, so what he gets is me shaking uncontrollably and murmuring into his chest.
“Shhh. It’s going to be okay. I promise you. It’s going to be okay,” he whispers into my hair as he rocks me back and forth, over and over.
I feel so safe in his arms, and while it doesn’t change my reality, I can’t seem to pull away. But after a few more minutes, Joel does it for me. “Thank you for… She’s gone,” he says, searching around for Katie.
What?
My head shoots up to see we’re now alone. Katie’s nowhere in sight. She stayed until I had someone to look after me, and for that I’ll forever be grateful.
“Come on. Let’s get you home,” Joel says, rising to his feet, pulling me up with him.
He walks toward my car but stops when I squeeze his hand. “Actually, can we go back to the resort? All my stuff is there.”
