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“How do you feel about coming back?”
My breath hitches, and my chest fills with a mix of nerves and excitement. This is something I’ve been thinking about and debating for the last six months. Katie’s starting preschool at the end of the summer, so I’ll have a bit more time. And I could definitely use the money.And the adult interaction.But at the same time, it makes me nervous to think I won’t be available for her as often as I am now. I’m currently only working casually for a local clinic, when someone’s free to watch Katie, and it worries me to commit to more. I’m all she’s got.
“Ummm.” I hesitate.
“You don’t have to decide right away, but you should give Aaron a call, and at least go in for a chat. They’re in need of someone urgently, and your name has been thrown around multiple times.”
“Why didn’t Aaron call me himself?” It’s odd that Dani’s the one asking me this, considering she’s in the marketing department and I worked with the fitness team. Aaron was my boss when I worked for the college before Katie was born. We got along well, so there’s no reason he couldn’t just pick up the phone.
“His wife told him not to bother you. Said that you’d contact them when you were ready.”
I huff out a laugh as I run my hand through my hair. Lola always did have my back. She took one look at me when I announced I was pregnant, grabbed hold of my hand, and dragged me into a spare room. She sat me down and told me that if something was wrong or I’d been hurt, she’d help me get justice. After telling her that wasn’t necessary, I shared more with her that day than I’ve told anyone, though not everything. Not the part I feel so stupid about. Not the part that hurts the most.
Since that day, she’s been checking in on me regularly. She swears that Aaron doesn’t know a thing. And since my family don’t either, I’ve been able to push it from my mind.Mostly.
“I’ll call him now. It’s the least I can do if they’re desperate.”
Dani sighs. “You don’t owe them anything, Lucy. You had a baby. No one faults you for that.” I know she wants to say more, but she’s holding back, so I deliver my usual response.
“They took a chance on me with that promotion, and a few months later, I told them I was pregnant. I owe them.”
“Do I need to get into equal opportunity and all that?”
“Nope, you don’t. I’ll call them. And I’ll make a decision based on what’s best for me and Katie, not them. Will that make you happy?”
“Very much. Thank you.” I can practically hear in her voice the proud smile she’s undoubtedly displaying.
She hangs up, and my body tenses at the thought of what I’m about to do. I need to calm down. It’s just a phone call. And yet, it feels like a life-changing decision. I haven’t really kept up with the Heartwood U Football team, other than the things I’ve heard though Dylan or his friends. And while Dani keeps me up to date on some things, mostly gossip, we tend not to talk shop when we catch up. We have other things on our minds these days, and most of the time we have two kids running around between us.
Aaron’s phone goes to voicemail when I call, and because I’m still not sure what I want to say, I hang up without leaving a message. He calls back less than a minute later and doesn’t even let me speak before he’s talking. “Please tell me you’re ready?”
I laugh as I watch Dylan swinging Katie around in the air.That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?“I’m ready to at leasttalk, if that’s what you mean.”
“I’ll take it. Come in any time you like. I’ll drop everything.”
He’s lying, but I appreciate the enthusiasm, so we lock in a time for me to visit the following day.
“What’s with the smile?” Dylan asks as we walk to the car a short time later. Lifting my hand to my mouth, I check, and sure enough, there’s a smile there. I hadn’t even realized.Maybe I want this more than I thought.
“I have a meeting with Aaron tomorrow, about potentially going back to work.”
Dylan’s eyes light up, like they always do whenever I’m happy. He’s seen me at my worst and never wants me back there. “That’s great, Lucy. Let me know what I can do. Summer and I can help with Katie, and you know Delilah will offer the same.”
I’m certain she would, but she’s got enough on her plate right now with her and Joel looking into fostering a child.
“Cory and Nate are on summer break now too, so you’ve got their help if you need it,” Dylan adds, referring to our teacher friends. I have options; I know I do. I just need to decide if going back to work full-time is the best thing for me and Katie right now.
When Katie’s in bed later that night, I draw myself a bath and contemplate my future as I sink down into the bubbles. Going back to work isn’t an easy decision, but it has its benefits, especially financially. We get by, Katie’s never without, and heaven knows Dylan spoils us both, but he’s about to have his own little family to take care of, and maybe it’s time I did something for me.
I love being a physical therapist; I wouldn’t have spent six years studying if I didn’t. I’ve missed it like crazy. Well, I miss it when I have the time to think about it. Katie keeps me busy, but she’s a good kid. I’ve never had any concerns with her.
“Can I do this?” I whisper to myself before closing my eyes and dipping my head under the water, letting my mind swarm with thoughts, pros and cons and every little thing it can conjure. I don’t move from the bath until the water turns cold, and by the end, there’s one thing clear as day.I think I can.
Chapter Twelve
Wes
Ithrowtheclipboardacross the table and drop my head into my hands. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why did I sign up for this?”
