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I’ve had a shit year all around. Quite a few shit years if I really want to complain. It’s like I’m continuously losing things—my job, my mind…her. But losing my gran, Katie, was hard.Oneof the hardest things I’ve ever been through, and I’m definitely not over it.
Katie. Fucking Katie.I’d been doing so well to not lose my cool at work…on top of everything else. Actually, scrap that, I’m constantly losing my cool at work, but I’ve never been emotional. Today I came close. Hearing that little girl’s name had my heart lurching in my throat. Obviously, I know there are other people out there with the name Katie, but it’s the first time I’ve come across one since my gran passed away. And I was not at all ready for it.
I don’t know what to do with myself for the next hour, so I alternate between working out and vegging out. Both have their positives and negatives, but neither put me in a good mood. Nothing has lately. I don’t want to get into a bigwoe is mespiel, but I could use a break from things fucking up in my life.
My leg muscles burn as I squat down, balancing the weighted bar across my shoulders. I can already tell that my fitness levels are dropping. The motivation to train like I used to just isn’t there. But I push through it and finish up my last rep with a grunt.
Dropping to the floor, I take a deep breath before starting my next routine—the one I fucking hate, the one I’m pretty sure everyone hates—burpees. I’m busting out my thirty-seventh rep, already exhausted from the rest of the set, when my phone vibrates on the counter. I ignore it, knowing that if it’s someone important they’ll call back. I’ve never been one to rush to the phone. I don’t give a fuck if your house is on fire, you’ve called the wrong person.
The vibrations stop as I drop down into my next move, but the phone buzzes again, seconds later, stopping after one ring.Dammit. Pausing mid rep I stare at my phone with a scowl, waiting for what I know is coming. And right on cue, the phone vibrates again.Fucker. I have no doubt in my mind that it’s Carter. He knows that the third time is usually a charm for me, and he’s trying to cheat the system.
Jumping to my feet, I take my time moving to the kitchen, and answer on the last ring. “Yup.” I puff into the phone, unable to give him anything else until I catch my breath.
Carter laughs. “How was your day, sweetie?”
“Fuck off. What’s up? We spoke yesterday.”
“You know I can’t go a day without speaking to you.”
“Carter,” I warn.
He chuckles to himself, and I hear the phone rustle as he moves around. “Okay, okay. I want details on the QB? All you texted was ‘I’ve got no quarterback.’”
I drop my head back with a sigh, running a hand through my already mussed hair. “It’s a fucking nightmare. He’s moved for a girl and now we’re scrambling to find his replacement. I’m running some plays with a few kids tomorrow to see who’s the best fit. But if I’m being honest, I don’t think we’ll be playing in any championships for a couple of years. That kid really fucked us.”
“Damn, what about Bennett’s little brother?”
“What the fuck? How do you know about him?” I ask incredulously, but then the answer hits me and I laugh. “Bennett?”
Carter still plays for San Francisco and is set to have his best year this coming season. He’s a little younger than I am, so probably has a few years left. Something I’d be jealous about if he wasn’t finally getting the support and recognition he deserves.
He barks out a laugh at my realization of Luke’s bragging. “You know it.”
“Yeah, well, he’s on the list for tomorrow.”
“Luke will be pleased. He never shuts up about the fact that you’re coaching his little bro. What’s he like?”
My mind bypasses football because I know that’s not what he’s asking. “Worse than Bennett from what I’ve seen.”
“Big call, man. Big call.”
I never knew Luke in college, but I think it’s safe to say he hasn’t changed much, and his brother seems to be following in his footsteps. But as long as he doesn’t give me trouble, I don’t care what he does with his personal life. That’s all on him.
Carter’s car starts in the background and I huff quietly, thinking about where he might have been. Probably a training session at the team gym. The thought makes me sad. Even though I just finished my own workout, it’s not the same. That team became my family and I miss them, even Luke.
“So what else is new?” Carter asks, as “Eye of the Tiger” plays softly through the phone. I’m so lost in the song that when he repeats the question, I answer honestly instead of keeping my mouth shut.
“I met a little girl named Katie today,” I say and immediately wince.
“Ah fuck,” Carter curses under his breath but loud enough I hear it. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I don’t know why I told you that.”
“Because it affected you,” he says, his jovial tone long gone.
“You’re probably right. Life fucking sucks.”
“I agreethatsucks. Losing Katie sucked hard. But your life is good. You’re just a grumpy bastard. A grumpy bastard that shouldn’t be alone tonight.”
