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“Wes?” Lucy asks in a small voice, just above a whisper, but I don’t look at her. I can’t. It at least snaps me out of my downward spiral, though, and I do what I have to do, for now.
“I heard you on the phone. I’m happy to wait here if you—”
“No! Ah, no, that’s okay.” Her eyes flash to Katie’s again. She’s smiling but it’s clearly forced. “We’ll be fine.”
Nothing about this situation is fine. She’s not fine. But something tells me it’s Katie she’s worried about.Why?
“Is it Katie’s…” I mouth the word “dad” at the end and tense up as Lucy shakes her head.Of course it’s not. Because I fucking am.Shit, shit, shit.
Swallowing a lump in my throat, I put on my best smile.
“Katie, your mom still has some packing up to do. I was thinking you might want to come and see my office. I’ve got lots of football stuff.” I wince because what four-year-old is interested in football? “Or we can watch something…”
Her huge, cartoon-likebrowneyes widen, just like her mother’sblueones did, and she smiles brightly. “I love football!”Guess I was wrong.
Lucy’s entire body deflates as though all the tension just left it as she mouths “thank you” and then starts the charade of actually packing up.
“Uhh…we’ll be in my office until you’re ready.”
Lucy kisses Katie on the head before we both walk away, leaving her completely alone, waiting for God knows who. And that doesn’t sit right with me. I have to do something. I shoot off a quick text before we reach my door and pray to God he comes through for me.
“So this is my office,” I say awkwardly as Katie’s eyes bounce around the room. When she spots my signed footballs, her eyes light up.
“These are my prized possessions. A couple are signed, and one’s a championship ball. Over here I have my…” I pause because I’m talking to her like a tour guide showing her around. Gripping the back of my neck, I take a deep breath.I can do this. “What I mean is that…yeah, this is my stuff.” I shrug.
Katie walks over to the balls and grabs one in her grubby little hands without even asking. “Don’t do that!” I rush out, and she freezes with the ball midair before releasing her grip, the ball and her gaze both dropping to the floor.Shit! Shit! Goddammit. Fuck!
“I’m sorry. It’s fine. We can play with this one,” I say, picking it up off the carpet. “How about catch?”
Katie’s eyes rise to mine and she gives me a small yet slightly wary nod. I try to meet her smile with as big a grin as I can muster, but apparently I look funny because she bursts out laughing. Laughing is good.Right?
We play catch for a while. And even though my teeth are clenched the entire time, praying nothing happens to my precious ball, Katie does warm up to me. And she has a pretty good arm for a kid.
“Are you sure you’re only four?” I ask, in awe of her skills.
“Four and a quarter,” she states matter-of-factly, causing my chest to tighten and my entire body to break out in a cold sweat. Four and a fucking quarter.Holy shit.
I have to consciously make an effort not to study her too closely—so I don’t freak her out—but that’s exactly what I want to do. Well, not the freaking out part. But I want to see what similarities or differences I can find. I mean, the natural talent she’s displaying should be a giveaway, but she’s also Dylan Mathers’s niece so I can’t lay sole claim to that. Or any claim just yet. But it can’t all be a coincidence, right?Fuck!
I want nothing more than to storm down to Lucy’s office and demand she tell me the truth, but I’m also terrified to know.
Katie seems like a good kid, but then again, it’s been five minutes, so how could I possibly assume that? I don’t know what she’s like with her mom and… Wait, didn’t I see her with her dad last week? Is that her stepdad, or am I just fucking delusional? I could ask her, but then what if I’m not her dad and he died or something?God, someone slap me, please.My thoughts are out of control.
“Can we draw?” Katie asks suddenly, pulling me out of my chaotic thoughts.
“We can do whatever you want,” I blurt out foolishly, trying to control my wandering mind.
Katie’s eyes crinkle in happiness as a smile lights her face. And while it’s adorable…fuck, I should know better than to offer a kid the world if I don’t plan on delivering.
I don’t know how long we’ve been playing when I hear a commotion from down the hall. “You need to leave!” Carter’s voice booms, and I take off in a run until I remember my purpose and skid to a halt.
Katie’s laughing at the drawing I did for her when I return, like she didn’t even hear the yelling or notice me run off. So after squatting down beside her, I chuckle like I never left. “Yeah, it doesn’t look much like a horse, does it?”
On the outside, I’m calm and collected, playing with Katie like nothing is wrong. But in reality, I’m on edge.
Lucy wants me here. Katie needs me here. But fuck,Iwant to be with Lucy.Ineed to know she’s okay.
Chapter Twenty-Five
