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She shakes her head back and forth, over and over, fear in her eyes. “No, it’s not. We were in a relationship before then. He just—”
“Lucy, herapedyou.”
“No. No. No.” She shakes her head frantically before burying her face in her hands. “It’s my fault.”Fuck!Maybe that wasn’t the best way to handle that.
After stilling her, I press a kiss to her forehead and lower my voice, trying to sound somewhat calm while I really just want to rip some fucker apart.
“No, Luce,” I say, just above a whisper. “Nothing about this is your fault. And even if you don’t classify it as rape, he still hurt you and that’s not fucking okay. I’m guessing this means you didn’t report it?”
“They wouldn’t have done anything. I had no proof.”
I hate that she’s probably right. They wouldn’t have done anything. But someone should.Her ex is a dead man.
“Did you have bruises? Anything you could have shown them?” I’m trying so hard to keep it together but it’s killing me inside.
Lucy shakes her head again as the tears start to fall. “I let him,” she says through sniffles, clearly trying to fight it. “I didn’t want him to hurt me, so I let him do it.”
My heart shatters into a million pieces, and the fragments cut me like a blade.
Without another word, I lift her into my arms and carry her to the sofa before sitting down and locking her tightly in my hold. “I’m so sorry, Lucy. I hate that you have such an awful memory for what should have been a beautiful moment.”
“I can’t even regret it,” she whispers, burrowing her face into my shoulder.
“I know,” I whisper back, and we stay like that in our comforting embrace—for hours or minutes, I don’t know—until she pulls away.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I got so emotional just then. I’ve moved past this. I’m good.”
“Lucy, you don’t have to apologize, and you definitely don’t have to move past it. Fuck, I don’t even know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I shouldn’t still be thinking about this. It’s not like I have permanent scars.”
“Not all scars are visible, Luce.”
With a quivering lip, her chin drops and she shies away from me.
Reaching forward, I tentatively lift her face with a single finger, and she lets me. “Your strength blows my mind, Lucy. Don’t ever hide away from who you are, because I happen to think you’re incredible.”
She sniffs again, as a hint of a smile graces her lips.
“Thank you. You’re a little bit alright yourself.”
My mouth pulls into a crooked grin, wanting to smile but also needing to ask one more question.
“Sorry to keep talking about him, but do you see him at all?”
Lucy wipes the tears from her face as she shakes her head. “I’ve only seen him twice since it happened—after work on the night of Aaron’s dinner party, and when he came to the stadium. He’s also messaged a few times to see Katie.”
“What?!” I recoil, a sick feeling taking over. “That was him? But…I was there. You said it wasn’t Katie’s dad… I left you alone with him.Fuck!” My head drops back to the sofa and I take a deep breath. Lucy doesn’t need me going crazy right now. “I’m sorry, I just… I would have gone with you if I’d known.”
She blinks her eyes as fresh tears glisten there, then frames my face in her hands, giving me a smile.A smile. “You did one better, Wes. You protected Katie, and that means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
Actually, I think I’m starting to understand.
But still that brings me no comfort. I want to protect them both. I want that man gone.
Lucy snuggles into me after that, as though we’re about to watch a movie, when in reality she just tore me apart. I feel sick, I feel murderous, but mostly, I feel like I’ve let her down. I should have been there for her when she found out she was pregnant. I should havenever let her go.
As I mindlessly run my fingers up and down her back, I think about everything we’ve shared tonight. We both let go of so much heavy baggage, and I feel a deeper connection to her because of it. She’s one hundred percent ingrained in my soul. I never meant for that to happen, and I’m not really sure when it occurred, but now that it has, I don’t ever want it to change.
