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We both pulled back immediately and stared at one another until she shook her head and pushed on my chest. Her brother was home, and as much as I didn’t fucking care, it was clear she did. I reluctantly watched her turn and walk toward the stairs without a word.
She never turned back, and I never stopped watching her until she disappeared from sight.
I took a few steps in her direction before I stopped myself. If she hadn’t walked away, I’m not sure how far I would’ve taken that moment. My ability to control myself around her was slipping, and I was finding it harder and harder to remind myself why it was important to keep my distance. I’d also shared a lot with her tonight, most of which I hadn’t planned on sharing, but it was out there now.
I just hoped it didn’t push her farther away.
Chapter 6
Race
Walking down the hallway from the side door, I heard Becs’s voice and paused. I hadn’t seen her since I took her home a month ago. I walked out of Bear’s townhouse that night after talking to him for a few minutes and knew I needed to back off. I’d shared a lot and none of it was good, but what happened after was fucking amazing. It wasn’t a good idea, and it was bound to cause problems, but I was having a hard time regretting something I’d wanted for so fucking long.
It didn’t take long for me to figure out that she was avoiding me. I never saw her at the clubhouse, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she left well before she suspected I’d get there. If I didn’t know her better, I’d assume she was avoiding me because of what I shared, but that wasn’t like her. She understood better than anyone how quickly things could turn bad. She lived through her own brother’s incarceration and stood by him. That was why the brothers in this club remained loyal to her. They watched Bear go off the rails and couldn’t do a damn thing about it except be here for him when he came out. And Becs stood right next to them while they waited. She never faltered, never wavered in her devotion, and a big part of me wanted to feel that from her when I shared the ugliness of my past.
But instead, she disappeared.
And I knew why.
It had been too many years of fighting for her to ever think it could be anything else. Knowing Becs as well as I did, I assumed she thought what happened only happened because I shared something with her. Something I held close. But she couldn’t have been more wrong, and it pissed me off that I didn’t just tell her what was going on in my head. It pissed me off even more that her way of dealing with it was to make sure she was never where I was. That only proved me right. We were too much alike. Too impulsive, too stubborn, and way too hotheaded to ever find a way to compromise.
We would burn too hot.
And everything that burned hot eventually turned to ash.
As the weeks went on, I let my simmering anger grow into an inferno and took every fucking overtime shift available to keep it under control. She didn’t need a babysitter anymore since the Widows had quieted down, so I had no excuse to find her. Working was the only thing that kept my mind from wandering back to that night a month ago. I was looking forward to another long day tomorrow, but Ben shut us down. I think he knew we all needed a break, me especially, and I wasn’t going to take it until he forced me. Knowing I couldn’t hide in the hallway all night, I made the decision to walk through the bar, say a quick hello, and then head to my room on the second floor of the clubhouse. I was back to avoiding her. That worked a hell of a lot better. If I learned anything from that night, it was that I was right. One taste of her would be enough to hook me, and if I didn’t keep my distance, I could easily get lost in her.
“How do you know my sister, Josie?”
“She picked me up a little bit ago off the side of the road where my car broke down,” Becs replied and anger shot through me.
“What the fuck?” I growled, my eyes locked on Becs who turned to face me when she heard my voice. Fear ripped through me when I thought about what could’ve happened to her alone at night on the side of the road.
She sighed. “Don’t start, Race.”
I didn’t even consider Bear or the stranger named Josie when I continued speaking. “Why the fuck didn’t you call me if your car broke down?”
“Because my phone was dead.”
“Becs, Jesus, why the fuck have a phone if you never charge it?” Bear asked the same question I had from where he stood behind the bar.
She rolled her eyes, but I noticed she wouldn’t look directly at me. “Listen, I screwed up and forgot to charge it. Josie saw me, pulled over, and picked me up. Now if one of you could just get one of the boys to go get my car, I’d appreciate it.”
“You’re seven fucking months pregnant, Becs!” I shouted, getting angrier when she attempted to pass it off like it was nothing. The Widows had been quiet for the past month, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still a threat, and she would be an easy target stranded on the side of the road. All the anger I’d been holding on to for the past month boiled to the surface and spilled over.
Her eyes widened. “I know that! I said I screwed up. I can’t do anything about it now!” she shouted back, and our eyes locked. I wanted her to understand how dangerous it was for her to be out alone, but I could tell by the defiance in her glare that she wasn’t going to listen to any damn thing I said.
“I’m just gonna go.”
I heard a voice and assumed it was Josie, but I didn’t look her way.
“Knock it off, you two.”
At the sound of Bear’s voice, I broke eye contact with Becs and look toward the bar. He stood behind Josie with his hand on her hip, but his eyes were on me. I understood the message without him uttering a single word. We both knew Becs didn’t understand the danger lurking outside the clubhouse doors because Bear always provided protection. I didn’t agree with that. She needed to know so she didn’t put herself in dangerous situations, but it wasn’t my decision, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to listen to me.
Crossing the room until I stood in front of Becs, I held out my hand. “Need your keys.”
She pulled the keys from her pocket and dropped them into my open palm but still wouldn’t meet my eyes. Shaking my head, I moved around her and called out over my shoulder, “I’ll take Dozer with me.”
