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“I understand that.”
“No, you don’t.” I dropped my forehead to hers. “I said that, Becs, but I didn’t mean it. I just wanted him to leave me alone. It was like salt in a wound every fucking time he mentioned you because I wasn’t ready to go there.” I slid my hands to her waist and squeezed. “I thought if I told him that, told him I was only being nice because of Bear, he’d back off.”
“Did it work?”
I pulled back slightly and snorted. “No. He didn’t believe me.” I brushed her hair away from her face. “I want to talk about this because it pisses me off that you heard that bullshit, but I have a feeling that’s not all that’s going on. Is this about Wyatt?”
Tears flooded her eyes, and this time, she let them spill over. “I feel guilty that he’s stuck in the hospital.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s in there because of something I did. There was no reason for him to come early. The doctor even said that. There’s no explanation. So it was me. It was something I did or didn’t do that caused that, and he’s the one suffering.”
“You didn’t cause him to be born early.”
“How do you know that?” She raised her voice but not in anger. Fear and guilt were all I saw in her eyes, and they were weighing her down. “Something caused it. And considering he was inside me, it only makes sense.”
“Did you ever think it could be because he’s a Pierce?” Her eyebrows pulled together, but her eyes held mine. “He’s stubborn and probably a little bit of a know-it-all just like his uncle and his mom. Wyatt probably decided this was what was best for him and made it happen.”
Her eyes widened, and I waited, holding my breath, eager for the laugh I was working so hard to get from her. When her lips slowly tipped, I waited and hoped I was breaking through. But it was when the sweet sound of her laughter, a laugh I’d missed hearing the past few months, filled the air that I felt like I could breathe again.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said with a smile. “I mean about Bear, not me.”
Grinning, I lifted my hand and used my thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I hate that you heard that shit. But even more, I hate that you believed it. I’m sorry for that, and I’ll make it up to you. No matter how fucking long it takes me, I’m gonna show you how I really feel.”
Her eyes flicked back and forth between mine before she pushed up onto her toes and wrapped her arms around my neck. Sliding my hands along her waist, I wrapped them around her and pulled her tight against me. Her breath was warm against my neck when she whispered, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always seeming to be around when I need you.”
“Never need to thank me, baby. I’m right where I want to be,” I replied honestly.
I squeezed her tighter, only releasing her when she started to pull back. She laid her hands on my chest. “I’m really tired. I’m gonna go to bed.”
Dropping my head, I rubbed my nose against the soft skin of her cheek before moving to her lips. I kissed her lightly before pulling back. “Good night.”
She nodded slightly before turning and walking toward the stairs. “Night.”
“I’ll be on the couch if you need me,” I said as she disappeared around the corner.
Reaching behind me, I grabbed the bottle of beer off the island and walked toward the living room, settling on the couch. Putting the bottle on the coffee table, I unlaced my boots and kicked them off before lifting my feet to lay on the table. Crossing my ankles, I grabbed the television remote and began flicking through the channels. I had a feeling I was going to be here a long time tonight, and I needed something to distract me.
Anything to keep me from climbing those stairs.
Chapter 13
Becs
Glancing at the clock on the microwave, I sighed when I saw the time and realized Josie would be picking me up soon. I’d told Bear I planned to go shopping and get the things Wyatt would need when he was finally able to come home, but when he suggested I ask Josie and Maggie to go with me, I was relieved. I wasn’t interested in shopping, but I knew Wyatt needed things, and I was forcing myself to go.
The truth was, I hadn’t been feeling like myself at all. I thought by the time I came home and was settled, I would stop feeling so emotional, but that wasn’t the case. I was sad, and it didn’t seem like all of it was because of Wyatt and my fears for him. Race had been giving me space after he spent the night, but I didn’t think that was bothering me either. I appreciated everything he said, but I couldn’t even process it. Every time I thought too much about it, I cried even more, so I decided not to think about it. I was avoiding everything and everyone. If I did see someone and they asked what was wrong with me, I said I was tired. I had no idea what else to say because I didn’t feel anything. I almost felt numb.
When the doorbell rang, I moved across the room and opened the door to see Josie. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She smiled, but it wavered. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded and pasted the fake smile I was mastering to my lips. “Just tired I think.”
