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“But you aren’t anymore?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I think being mad at her was just an excuse so I didn’t have to feel how much I missed her.” I huffed out a laugh. “I guess I do that a lot.”
“Do what?”
“Hold on to anger so I don’t have to feel anything else.” I met his stare. “I don’t want to do that anymore.”
He smiled softly. “Then I won’t let you.”
I laughed softly when I recognized the teasing in his expression. “You won’t let me?”
“Nope. I’ll just ignore it when you’re mad at me.”
I rolled my lips together, but I couldn’t stop from smiling. This was the first time I’d ever talked about my mom and smiled. I was usually left feeling sad and lonely, but not today, not while talking to Race. He just listened and let me say what I needed to say without any judgment. He didn’t tell me how I should feel or what I needed to do to work through it. He just let me be me. I never knew how much I needed someone to do that for me until this very moment.
Wanting to tease him back, I arched an eyebrow. “That won’t work. I’m mad just thinking about you ignoring me when I’m mad.”
He ran his hand over mine and linked our fingers, but he was smirking. “We’ll see how it goes.”
Still smiling, I wiped under my eyes and shifted so I could look at Wyatt, who was still asleep. “Guess I’m going to need to start trusting myself to know what to do for him.”
“You are. And you’re going to have to start letting people help you.” I knew he was right, but that was hard for me. I’d been doing stuff by myself for a long time, always wanting to prove to Bear that I could handle everything on my own and not be another thing he needed to take care of. “Have you thought about babysitters?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “The doctor warned me against doing daycare just yet because of how small he is, so I need to find someone, like a nanny, I guess.”
“How late is the salon open?” he asked.
“Nine,” I replied, but I thought that was an odd question. “Why?”
“I talked to Ben and Jake, and they told me they’d work around what I needed. What if I help out for a while?” My eyes widened the more he spoke. “I’ll work from like six to two, and you can work from three to nine or something like that.”
“Why would you do that?”
“To help you.”
“But you always work really long hours.”
“It’s slowing down because of the weather and the holidays. This is actually the perfect time. Not sure I could do it in the spring or summer.” He squeezed my hand. “Bear can’t help right now, and Maggie’s still on lockdown. I’m not sure who else there is.”
I swallowed down the disappointment that he was only offering because he knew I was out of options. I was hoping Bear would be able to help, but Race was right. He was busy with the club and work orders he had to fill as a mechanic. I sometimes forgot he was not only running the club but an actual business as well.
“Okay,” I agreed. “I took off this week, though, so I wouldn’t have to start until Monday.”
“That’s good. I’ll try to get ahead at work to make it even easier.”
“Are you sure?” I frowned. “It’s a lot to ask.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know, but…”
“No buts.” He squeezed my hand. “This is one of those times you just have to let someone help you.” He watched me closely for a moment, and I wondered what he was thinking when his expression grew serious. I didn’t have to wait long to find out. “You ever gonna ask me why I was at the hospital the morning I took you to Kat?”
I was surprised he brought it up, but I shouldn’t have been. Race had been pretty direct with me since I had Wyatt, maybe even before. He wasn’t afraid to say what he was thinking anymore and that rattled me. I was so used to the games we played for all those years that I didn’t know how to react. I knew I wasn’t handling it well, so I decided to change that and answer him as honestly as I could. “I figured if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me.”
He squeezed my hand one last time before he pulled his from mine and leaned his elbows on his knees, staring at the wall across from us. “I went every morning.” He glanced at me. “That bother you?”
“No,” I answered honestly.
