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She gestured toward Wyatt, and I turned my head to stare at him. “Because of him?”
“Yeah.” I nodded before facing Josie again. “But also because of Race.”
She tilted her head to the side. “Why Race?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “For years after my family died, I felt like I was living for the moment, you know? Almost as if it could all be taken away at any time, and I wanted to experience everything before that happened.”
Josie reached out and laid her hand on my knee. “That makes sense, honey. You lost everyone except Bear really quickly. It’s reasonable that you would look at life as if it were a fleeting moment.”
“I did,” I acknowledged. “I did that for a long time, but then I started spending more time with Race. Some before Wyatt was born, most after, but the more time we spend together, the more I feel…”
I drifted off, not having the right words until Josie spoke them. “Safe.”
“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “I don’t want to lose that feeling, but I’m afraid. Even if Race were here right now, I’m not sure I’d tell him about Sal. I’d be too afraid he’d tell Bear. They’re really loyal to each other.”
“I think Race is more loyal to you than your brother.”
I thought about the Race I’d gotten to know before he left and wondered if she was right. He was different with me, and I knew by the way he helped me the day he found me in the hospital that he would be there for me, but keeping this secret would be a lot to ask. It had the potential to divide the club and put Race at odds with my brother, which I wouldn’t want. “I’m not sure that’s true, but even if you’re right, I don’t want to put him in the position to choose.”
She nodded, and it was obvious she agreed with me. “Well, if Bear and Race aren’t options, then maybe you should talk to the police.”
I stood and once again began pacing. Just talking about this made me feel an enormous amount of nervous energy. “I don’t have any proof of anything. It’s just a hunch from some shit he said,” I explained. “Plus, the club has a good relationship with the police right now. Could you imagine if I went to the police with this, and it had something to do with the Widows? That’s club business. I’m not sure Bear would ever forgive me or that the friendship they’ve developed could survive.”
Her shoulders deflated, but then she snapped her fingers and sat up taller. “What about Elite?”
“Elite Securities?” I stopped pacing and rounded the couch before sitting and facing her again. “Do you think it’s a good idea to talk to them?”
“Well, they’re Dimarcos, so they know everyone in this town, plus Elite is some kind of security company. At the very least, they’ll be able to tell you how to protect yourself and Wyatt from Sal. Plus, they might be a good sounding board so you can decide whether to go to the police or Bear when it’s necessary.”
I chewed on my lip and considered that. “If Bear found out I went to them before him…”
“Make sure he doesn’t.” My head snapped up when she spoke. “You’re right. He’s been through enough. He told me once that he needs to protect everyone he loves, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I’m afraid of what he’ll do to protect you, Becs.”
“I know what he’d do,” I admitted softly. “And I’m worried he’s not thinking clearly because he’s afraid of losing one more person.”
Her expression filled with concern. “You can’t let that happen.”
“I won’t.” I slapped my hands on top of my thighs. “I’ll go to Elite and ask Jax or Brody for their advice. They own the company. They’ll listen if they think there’s anything to worry about.”
“When?”
I smiled, knowing she was concerned if she was asking me when I planned to go. “Tomorrow. Even if they can’t help, they’ll give me advice. They don’t want people like Sal in our community any more than my brother does.” I grinned. “Plus, I’ve always gotten the impression they don’t always do things by the book, if you know what I mean.”
She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. I’m learning things are a little different in this town.”
“Can I ask you for a favor?” I asked, knowing what I was about to ask was a lot.
“Anything.” She nodded.
My eyes flicked back and forth between hers. “Will you hear him out? There’s a reason he did what he did to Skinner, and I know it doesn’t make sense to you, but doesn’t he at least deserve the chance to explain?”
Her smile slowly faded. “It’s too late, Becs. We made our choices. I can’t defend violence, no matter the reason, and Bear lives a lifestyle prone to it.” She looked down at her fingers and clasped them together. “I wish it could be different.” When she lifted her head, her eyes were filled with tears. “But some people don’t belong together no matter how much it hurts.”
This time, I reached out and laid my hand on her leg. “I’m never gonna stop trying to convince you that you’re wrong. My brother needs you in his life, but more than that, he deserves you. And I know you could make each other happy.”
She ran her fingertip under her eye to brush away the tears that spilled. “Right now, I think all your energy should be spent on yourself and Wyatt.”
I squeezed her leg and smiled. “I have enough energy for all of it.”
