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He reached out and touched my shoulder. “Jane…”
I didn’t want to talk anymore about my family and why they didn’t react when someone took me, so I changed the subject. “What are you going to do about this kid? What’s his name?”
“Leo. I don’t know what I’m going to do about him. We decided to do a paternity test so we’d know for sure, but either way, the kid needs family. His mom overdosed six months ago. He’s got no one.”
“That’s so sad.” When he only continued to watch me, I straightened my shoulders. “I feel better knowing the DEA is involved. Maybe if he realizes that an agency that size is looking for him, he’ll leave me alone.”
“I think he’s probably on the run, but that doesn’t mean you’re in the clear. You need protection.”
“And I have it,” I reminded him.
“From me, Jane.” He lifted his hand and wrapped it around the side of my neck. “Let me protect you. I can take you to the clubhouse, where I promise no one will get to you.”
“I don’t want that,” I answered quietly. “I appreciate it, but I want to be here. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now anyway, so I think it would be best if we parted ways. I have a brand-new job that I’m really excited about. I took a step I never thought I would, and that’s because of you.”
“I want to protect you. I can’t do that if I’m two hours away.”
I could tell he was angry, but he didn’t seem surprised. He had to know this was over. Whatever it had been or whatever possibilities we had died a while ago. There was no going back. There was no fixing what broke because it’d been broken all along.
“I think some space is for the best.” Pulling away from him, I gestured toward the door. “I should get back to Bree.” I smiled softly, trying desperately to hide the ache in my chest. “I don’t want to get fired on my first day.”
He took a step toward me and wrapped his arm around my waist before yanking me against his body. “This isn’t over, princess. You need time to heal, and I’m willing to give you that, but we need to have a real conversation.”
“We already have.”
He dropped his head and brushed his lips across mine before pulling back slightly. “Thought I’d lost you forever, and it shredded me. Never felt fear or pain like that in my life. Never. I’m going to prove what you mean to me. Lucky for us both, I’m a patient man, so I’m going to give you what you need today, but I’ll be back.” He kissed me one last time before he dropped his arm and headed toward the door. I heard him tell Bree goodbye, but I still hadn’t moved.
Thought I’d lost you forever, and it shredded me.
In my wildest dreams, I never imagined anyone would say those words to me.
“He left.”
Spinning, I faced Bree. “I know.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
“I don’t know. I thought I did, but now I’m not so sure.”
“Why not?”
“Because he said a lot of beautiful things to me, but I’m not sure that changes anything. We’re really different, Bree, and maybe we can overlook that now, but how long will it be until we can’t? If I give up everything to be with him and then lose him, where do I go from there?”
“Why are you so sure you’re going to lose him?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What’s that saying? It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?”
“Is it?” I wondered aloud. “Or is it better to play it safe? I understand the world I grew up in, know the people, who they are, and who they aren’t. There are never any questions there. I don’t have those reassurances with Tank. Everything between us is a question mark, and it’s scary.”
Bree leaned her shoulder against the doorframe. “I don’t think love comes with promises and plans. I think if you want to experience real love, you have to know that it’s a risk. It could pay off and you’ll be happier than you ever thought you’d be, or it could fail. It’s a gamble, and you have to decide if it’s a risk worth taking.”
“What if I don’t know?”
“Then you give yourself time.” Bree walked to me and squeezed my hand. “Tank’s not going anywhere, and if he wants you today as much as it seems he does, he’s still going to want you tomorrow and the next day. I’ve been around these guys enough to know that they aren’t men who wear their hearts on their sleeve, but when they love someone, they never give up on them.”
“I think I just need some time,” I admitted.
