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“That must have been very exciting,” I replied.
“It was, and I worked hard for it, but it was tainted.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I’m going to be honest with you, Jane. I’m not looking for a soulmate. I’m looking for a life partner. Someone who shares my interests and will be a good mother to my children when they’re with me. I feel like we may want the same things, and I know you’re accustomed to the lifestyle. All of that being said, I think we should spend more time together and decide when we’re ready to move forward.”
“Move forward?”
“With marriage,” he clarified. “Just a formality, really, but necessary in my life.”
“How romantic,” I teased, but he didn’t laugh.
He tilted his head. “I didn’t get the impression from your mother that you needed all of that.”
Of course, he didn’t. My mother needed me to get married as soon as possible so I could stop being an embarrassment. Not to mention, my mother didn’t require romance and didn’t understand why anyone else would. I wasn’t even sure I wanted or believed in romance, but I knew I didn’t want this.
Looking up from the table, I met his eyes. “Can I think about it and get back to you?”
“How about we make plans for next Saturday night, and we can talk more? I have to go out of town on Monday and won’t return until late Thursday, but I can give you more time after this trip.”
I nodded. “Sure. That sounds nice.”
That was a lie, but I would’ve agreed to anything to end this date. He signaled the server for the check, and I waited while he paid. He walked me to my car and leaned in to kiss me softly. It was the predictable bland kiss, but I’d come to expect that. I never knew fireworks like I’d read about or saw in movies. I’d come to realize those weren’t real, or at least they weren’t for anyone I’d ever known.
I waited until he pulled out to leave the parking lot and headed straight to Rachel’s house. She was waiting for me, so when I pulled in, she came running out. She wore jeans with a sleeveless blouse and high-heeled booties. She looked like a model, but then again, she always did.
She slid into the passenger seat and glanced at me. “You’re not wearing that, are you?”
I laughed and looked down at my black dress and heels. “Absolutely not. I have jeans in a bag in the back seat. I figure I can pull over and change when we’re close.” Backing out of her driveway, I kept talking. “Are you nervous?”
“A little,” she admitted. “Although, I had fun talking to Becs and even Bear last weekend, so I’m kind of excited.”
“Don’t forget Tank’s warning, though,” I reminded her. “It might be a little wild.”
“Maybe we need a code or something in case one of us is in trouble or just wants to leave.”
“That’s a good idea.” I agreed. “How about we text the word ‘now’ if we need the other one to rescue us?”
I saw her nod from the corner of my eye. “That sounds good.” She was quiet for a minute before she spoke again. “How was your date?”
“Boring,” I replied honestly. “But I expected it to be. It wasn’t really his fault. I wasn’t interested in the date and didn’t try very hard. He told me he wants a marriage of convenience, but that’s all.”
“He wants that with you?”
“I think he sees the money potential and status as a bonus to marrying me.” Wanting to change the subject, I glanced at her. “What did you tell Mark?”
“Mark’s out of town. Has been all week,” she answered quietly. “Truth is, I think he met someone.”
“Does that bother you?”
She sighed and looked out the side window. “Not really. But isn’t that sad, Jane? I mean, what does that say about me that I don’t care if the man I’ve been dating for two months met someone else?”
“It means you don’t see a future with him.”
“I’m starting to think I might be a lesbian,” she said.
My head snapped her way. “Are you serious?”
She laughed. “No. I’m attracted to men, but why don’t I feel anything more than attraction?”
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right one.”
