Page 6 of Wasted Time


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I was sad and alone. The only time I felt alive was the day I walked out of the country club six months ago. I’d never done anything like that in my life, and although it caused me a lot of anxiety, it also made me feel free in a way I never had. My lips tipped in a small smile when I thought of Tank and the way he’d spoken to my mother.

In my defense.

No one defended me, at least not since my grandfather passed away.

He’d taken me to a hotel in New Hope, walked inside with me, and paid for a room for the night. I thanked him for the ride and the room, promising to pay him back, but he only shook his head. For a moment, I felt like he was disappointed in me. He had to know I was returning to the world I’d run away from that day because I had no idea what else to do or how to survive on my own.

I was the poor little rich girl everyone talked about.

And he knew it.

But he didn’t say that. He told me to find my own path and then left.

Except I didn’t do that. Instead, I went home. Back to the life I hated with people I had no connection to and tucked away the feelings I had that day.

The day I almost set myself free.

Pushing off the wall, I walked toward the bar, only pausing when I heard my name. Glancing at the doorway leading to the hallway containing the bathrooms, I listened while two women gossiped about my family and me. My family had been the source of a lot of gossip over the past six months, considering my sister married my boyfriend, and I disappeared on the day of the wedding. The people in my parents’ social circle were like piranhas, and there was a feeding frenzy on the gossip from that day. I had my doubts my mother would ever forgive me for that. She hadn’t said more than she had to in the past six months, only speaking to me when it was necessary for her reputation. Her opinion was if we ignored what happened, the gossip would stop because there would inevitably be someone new to gossip about soon, and she wasn’t wrong. There was always something for these people to feast on. And I hadn’t had a real conversation with Emily since she and David announced their engagement. We just stopped talking. We were never close, not in the way I thought we should be, but now we were merely acquaintances. She would never forgive me for casting any shadow on her wedding day, and I wasn’t sure I could blame her.

Shaking my head, I continued toward the bar and smiled at the bartender. “Can I have a glass of white wine, please?”

He nodded once but didn’t say more. His eyes kept flashing to someone behind me. I was invisible, just as I’d always been. I wasn’t glamorous, and I didn’t try to be. I’d been taught to use makeup as a tool to enhance my attributes, but I didn’t have anything striking, so I wore minimal makeup. The only thing I liked was my long dark hair, but my mother didn’t agree. She wanted me to cut it into a more flattering style. However, that was the one thing I didn’t do to please her, and I had no plans to change it. Drumming my short nails on the bar top, I watched while the bartender slid the glass in front of me, and I thanked him quietly, but he’d already moved away.

“Jane.”

Lifting my glass, I turned slightly to see my mother behind me. Surprised she spoke to me, I glanced around only to see eyes on us from across the room. It was time to put on another show of solidarity to appease my mother and her reputation.

I took a sip of wine. “Yes?”

“I was speaking with the mayor’s wife, Lisa, and she has a brother who is recently divorced.” She leaned in and lowered her voice. “It seems his wife was being unfaithful with her driver.” She scoffed. “Can you imagine? She left a man who handed her the world on a silver platter for a man making minimum wage.”

“Maybe she loved him,” I suggested but immediately regretted it when my mother’s eyes narrowed.

“I allowed your childish views on relationships when you were young because I thought you would outgrow them, but I see I was wrong.” She sighed. “Lisa would love to introduce you to her brother. She feels you’d be a good match, and I agree. He’s stable, has two children, and could offer you a very comfortable life.”

“How old is he?”

I had no idea why that was the first thing I asked. Was I really that defeated that I was considering another setup from my mother with a man who could offer me a comfortable life? Did I even want that? Tank’s words floated through my head while my mother answered, but I didn’t hear her.

I only heard him.

“Maybe it’s time to find your own path.”

“Jane,” my mother said sharply, and my eyes flicked back to meet hers. “Are you listening to me?”

“I’m sorry. I was distracted for a moment. What did you say?”

She sighed again, this time in disgust, and repeated what she’d said. “He’s forty-eight. His kids are ten and twelve, and I told Lisa that you love children and currently volunteer at the hospital in the pediatric ward. He really wants someone in their life with experience.”

“He doesn’t need a wife or mother; he needs a nanny,” I pointed out.

“He has a nanny.” She seemed annoyed with my answer. “He needs someone in his life who comes from a proper family, considering he recently made partner at his law firm. This nonsense with his ex-wife has stained his reputation and could affect his future with the company.”

“Maybe being a good attorney will improve his reputation.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Her disappointment was obvious when she opened them again. “I’m setting up the meeting. You’ll go on a date with him next weekend, and you’ll show him the woman your father and I raised you to be.” She smiled. “With any luck at all, you’ll be walking down the aisle within the year.”

She didn’t wait for my answer, knowing I would comply with her wishes, and I didn’t call out to her that I didn’t want that. I just stood there as the dutiful daughter I’d always been and, for a moment, accepted that my future would look very much like my mother’s life. The wife of an influential man who overlooked his callous words and infidelity to maintain a social standing I didn’t even want.

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