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I hadn’t received the name of my roommates yet, but I was excited for the chance to meet new people and make new friends. Van and I would be friends forever, but we both needed to spread our wings. She would need to make friends in her track, and I would need to meet people who wanted to get into med school.
As I moved forward in line, I couldn’t help but think about where Danny would fit. Between school, studying, and work, how much time could I honestly give him? Not as much as he deserved. Not as much as a woman closer to his age could give.
It was a painful admission that left me feeling uneasy. Danny was so handsome and charismatic and kind and patient and caring. He would have no trouble finding a replacement for me. If I was ninety minutes away, always busy and with no time for him, how easy would it be for someone to steal him from me?
He can’t be stolen unless he wants to be.
That was the heart of it, wasn’t it? That, in the end, I had to trust Danny. I had to trust that if he promised to be faithful he would be just as he would have to trust me.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I checked to see who had messaged me. It was a text from Crystal, asking if I could come in and cover a shift. I didn’t want to man the fryers or the drive-thru for eight hours, but I couldn’t say no to the money. I needed it more than ever.
As I let Janie know about the change in plans, I stepped forward in line. There were only seven people in front of me.Only. Even though the wait was boring, and I had a million things I would rather be doing, I kept a smile on my face and tried not to look impatient. I knew what it was like to stand behind a counter while customers yelled or acted pissy about some mess-up that wasn’t your fault.
When it was my turn, I was quick about my request, showing my ID and a copy of the forwarding paperwork. The postal worker brought back three stacks of mail with thick rubber bands holding them together. I wasn’t expecting that much mail, but I was glad to see the envelope I had been waiting for right on top.
I waited until I was sitting in the driver’s seat of the loaner car Danny had arranged before I tore into the envelope. It was the revised financial award offer I desperately needed, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I scanned the short paragraphs that now included an unexpected scholarship I had been awarded just days after graduating. It was enough to give me some breathing room.
Trying not to get too comfy behind the wheel of the much newer and nicer Civic I was borrowing, I drove to back to the house Artyom had graciously given us. I went inside ready to tell Janie my good news, but the sight of her sitting on the couch, staring at the wall and ignoring whatever was blaring on MSNBC, changed my mind. Worried about her, I grabbed the remote and turned down the TV.
“I was watching that!” she snapped, startling me with the venom in her voice.
“Sorry.”
She snatched the remote from my hand. “Ask before you take things from me.”
“I will. I’m sorry.” I didn’t think this was about the television anymore. It was about all the turmoil and strife she had endured. It was about being thrown in jail for crimes she didn’t commit and having her children taken from her.
Giving her a little space, I took the mail to the kitchen and placed it on the counter. I wanted to help her, but I didn’t know how. What did I know about being married? About having a husband who did nothing but hurt me and break promises? About losing my job and having my professional reputation smeared? About losing my kids to the system? I couldn’t even comprehend that sort of trauma.
At a loss, I did what I normally did when Janie came home burned out and tired from a long night shift. I made her a cup of coffee, just the way she liked it, and brought it to her as a sort of peace offering. When I placed the mug on the coaster next to her, she glanced up with tears shining in her eyes. She seemed suddenly older, and I was taken aback by the physical toll of her suffering.
“I’m sorry, Macy.”
“No. No.” I perched on the edge of the coffee table. “Janie, I understand. I mean—I don’t actually understand everything you’re going through, but I understand that you’re having a hard time.”
“That doesn’t give me the right to snap at you and be ugly.” She roughly wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You’ve done nothing but be good to me and so helpful. If it wasn’t for you, I would still be in jail.”
“You would have done the same for me. I’m just sorry I couldn’t get the money together faster. If Danny hadn’t come back and found me dancing—.”
“Wait. What?” Janie’s eyes widened. “Dancing where?”
I cringed and reluctantly admitted, “I was working at Pink Paradise on the days when I wasn’t scheduled at Whataburger.”
“Macy!”
“I know! I know! But Paulie said that Dad owed the money and if I worked there, he would help me with the bail money, and if I danced...” My voice trailed off as her expression turned from shock to horror. “Well. Anyway. That’s over and done with now.”
“Did he touch you? That pig Paulie?”
“Yes, but not like...” I gestured to my genital area. “Not there. Here.” I gestured at my breasts. “And my face a few times.”
“Does Danny know that he touched you?”
“Not exactly?” I said uncertainly. “I mean, he saw me on the stage.”
“Oh, Jesus.”
“Yeah. Basically.” I tried not to think about the dark look on Danny’s face when he had spotted me up there. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all done. In the past.”
