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He pulls out of me after he’s paid special attention to my lips and rolls to lie beside me. Through half-lidded eyes, I watch him pull the condom off, tie it, then hop out of bed. He pads into the bathroom, coming back a few moments later with two warm cloths. Like the first time, he spreads my cheeks to wipe me free of lube and uses the other to wipe my chest, cock, and balls. He tosses both cloths on the nightstand before looking at me thoughtfully. He must come to a decision because Sav puts his arms under me and scoops me into his arms, making me yelp and grab on to him. Sav releases a carefree chuckle and carries me to my room.
Laying me out on my bed, he walks to the other side and climbs in with me. When I give him a look, he frowns. “You messed up my sheets. And I amnotsleeping in the wet spot.” I bark a laugh at his ridiculousness and scoot over to him. Savage opens his arms and pulls me in, bringing both arms around me securely.Yes. This is where I want to be, where I belong.
We’re quiet for a while, but I know Savage hasn’t fallen asleep. Despite how much work he just put in, it’s still early in the day. I’m drowsy, but I’ll be able to shake it off soon.
Clearing his throat, Savage asks, “How could you stand to look at me and not get … turned off?” He asks in such a sad and surprised way that it makes tears prick my eyes. What happened to him? Who did this? I will find them and rip out their fucking eyes.
Sitting up on my elbow, I look down at him intently. “Sav, you’re not ugly.” He scoffs, but I continue. “You’re not. You have scars, yes, but they don’t make you ugly. I’ve always thought you were handsome. From the first time I saw you.”
“The first time you saw me, you looked like you wanted to run when I looked at you. Because of these,” he finishes, fingers brushing his facial scars.
Sighing, I retort, “I did want to run, but not because of your scars. Because of these.” I tap alongside his eye, the one without the scars. “They were so cold, but so sad. Like no one has shown you an ounce of kindness and you didn’t know how to give it in return.” I sit up a bit more so he can see my face. “Believe me when I tell you, I have always found you attractive. That’s why I can look at you while you’re fucking me and not get turned off.” An idea pops into my head and I hop up. “Here,” I say when I trot over to my vanity and back to cuddle close to him. My ass twinges smartly, the remnants of the hard fucking I just took.
Savage sits up, and I put my back against his chest. “I want you to have this,” I say, holding out my mother’s mirror. The only thing I could keep from her. But Sav needs it more. He takes it, and with my hand on his, I angle it to his face. He goes to turn away from his reflection, but I capture his chin and gently turn it back so he’s looking at himself. “Do me a favor. Every day, I want you to look into it and say, “My scars don’t make me ugly or unwanted.” Every day until you believe it, Sav. BecauseIbelieve it. Until you do, I’ll believe it enough for both of us.”
If I’m not mistaken, Savage’s eyes get a little shiny, but he blinks quickly and looks down at me. I nod and he takes the mirror to put on the bedside table. “Nope,” I say, pulling his hand back and hold it up. “Come on, Sav. We start today.”
Grumbling under his breath, he says, “This won’t work, Abel. This isn’t some … magic mirror that will make everything okay. I’ll still look like this.”
“And I’ll still want you to fuck me against a wallbecauseof how you look, not in spite of it.” I lower the mirror and twist around to him. “I think you’re the hottest fucking thing I’ve seen since … ever. Better than Jason Momoa and I think everyone knows how I feel about that particular piece of eye candy.” Savage releases a reluctant laugh, then kisses me lightly. I shove him back gently, then hold the mirror up again. “Now say it in your magic mirror. ‘My scars don’t make me ugly or unwanted.’”
Though it takes some time, he finally repeats the words. I know he won’t start believing today after seven years of hating his reflection, but I hope he will soon. Savage deserves to feel good when he looks at himself.
Chapter Thirteen
Savage
Afteralong,stressfulmeeting, I want to cuddle with Abel, feeling his fingers running through my hair while I tell him about it. Abel is a great listener and gives sound advice. I don’t need the advice right now, but I need the comfort. I’m feeling more and more restless. Things are going too well and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops. I need to be prepared, but not while I’m so stressed. I need Abel to help me relax by just being himself and comforting me when he doesn’t even know I need it.
I don’t find him in the kitchen or his room, and I start to feel a bit panicky until I hear a noise coming from the east wing. I hotfoot it over there and see the door to the library slightly ajar. Pushing the door open more, I see Abel sitting on my comfortable couch, a blanket around his shoulders, book in hand, and a smile on his lips. Abel is a vision. This is how I always imagined finding my other half in my library—happy, warm, and content.
I watch him for a few more moments and hear him laugh, the sound I heard when I was looking for him. I’m not sure what he’s reading, but I know I’ve never read a book that made me laugh like that. It intrigues me. “What are you reading?”
He starts, then looks up at me, cheeks flushed, that radiant smile still gracing his lips. “This smutty novel you had hiding on your shelves. It’s hilarious. The characters’ banter is the best.” He lifts the book and shows me the cover. Ah yes, a book Janet got me as a gag gift when she said I was going through a drought. It’s about a hairdresser who does drag at night, and a client recognizes them. The client asks loads of questions about it at his next appointment, which is where the witty banter comes in.
Yes, I read it. Twice. It’s really funny. Not enough to make me laugh like Abel, but I enjoyed it. I’ll never tell Janet that, though.
Moving the blanket from his shoulders, he spreads his legs, dropping one to the floor. “Come on, Sav. Sit down with me for a bit.” Music to my ears. Toeing off my shoes, I trot over to him, settling between his thighs, my back to his chest, and he hooks his feet around my legs. He throws the blanket over me and brings the book around so we can both see it. We sit like this and read for a while. It’s something I’ve never experienced—sitting in silence with someone, a book our entertainment. I’m glad we still have eight months together. Even though it will end after that, I want to enjoy the attention and new experiences while I can.
When we get to the end of the chapter, Abel closes the book and starts playing with my hair. I close my eyes and soak up the feeling. “What’s on your mind, Sav?”
I don’t think anyone else can read me like Abel. Well, besides Quin, but he’s my platonic other half. He’s been with me for so long that it would be strange if he couldn’t. But Abel has only been here a little over three months and he already knows when my head is full and heavy.
“Can I tell you something and trust you to keep it to yourself?”
He stops playing with my hair and brings his hands to the front of my chest, rubbing my pecs. I gather them in mine and kiss the back of one, then the other. “Of course, Savage. I would never betray your confidence.”
Believing him, I say, “I want to leave the game. I’m tired of being paranoid and looking over my shoulder every time I go to work. Something is going to happen soon, I can feel it. I don’t know when or what, but it’s nagging. And it’s telling me to get out before it’s too late.”
Abel goes back to rubbing my hair, scratching along my scalp every so often. “If your gut is telling you to get out, then listen to it. How soon can you do that?”
“It’ll take me about nine more months, maybe a year, to get everything straightened out and have someone take over the business from my crew. I have a feeling Quin or Michael won’t want it, so it has to be someone new. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
We’re quiet for a few beats, the only sound in the room the soft scratches along my scalp. “Do you have to hand everything off? Can’t you just leave?”
I shrug. “I could. But I still have to get my finances in order and untangle some of the money that’s being funneled through the company. Either way, it will take me a while. I’m working quickly to get it done.”
“You scared?” he asks me in a low voice, and I realize that’s what’s been weighing me down. I’m afraid. Not to leave, that’s something I’m looking forward to. I’m afraid of not knowing what to do. I won’t be able to have anything to do with Velli Corp, a company I started from the ground up. I could do it again, but will I want reminders from my old life? I’m already in the process of training the VP to head the company and take over as CEO. Could I step back from everything I’ve known and be okay with it? Although I told Quin I didn’t care, will I be content to let my family’s legacy go?
