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Thatcrywascathartic.Exactly what I needed after feeling like I was burying my emotions for the past few weeks. Everything bubbled to the surface faster than I thought, but I needed it. Even more than the tears I shed, I needed to feel my Daddy’s arms around me while I lost my shit. I needed to have him hold me together when I felt like I was coming apart.
He did more than that. He kept me tethered to him when I felt like my brain was going to take the same route as my emotions and run away from me. While he kept his arms securely around me, he talked to me and hearing his soothing voice was worth more than I could have imagined. Just listening to him, his voice breaking through my loud sobs made me feel like I would be okay.
I will be, I know it. I didn’t see Thomas take his final breath—something I’m not sure I’ll regret too much—but I turned him to ash. Well, maybe notash ash, but his body was set ablaze because of me. I feel like I should have done worse. There are countless lives he and Andler and the rest of them fucked up. The people who were rescued will have to live with the scars of what they did to them and the three people they found behind the warehouse will never grow old. I wish like fuck I could have done more to him, but he can’t get more dead than he is, so I’m calling tonight a success.
The ride back to our hotel is quiet, but not in a bad way. I feel five pounds lighter, the emotion and stress I was carrying around lifting slightly from my shoulders. I won’t be able to breathe easier until Andler is dead, but for now, I feel buoyant.
Quin looks over at me and takes my hand, kissing the back of it. He was amazing tonight. Calm, unaffected, completely in control. He’s usually like that, but to see it from a different perspective was a heady experience. To know he was doing this formemakes me fall for him even more.
“The gun was louder than I thought it would be,” I murmur, breaking the silence.
“Oh?” Quin glances at me quickly and I nod. “Don’t like it?”
Shaking my head, I say, “I don’t think I do. How can you stand it? I feel like my hearing will never be normal again.”
Smiling, my Daddy shrugs and threads our fingers together and puts my hand on his lap. “I’m used to it. Might fuck with my hearing down the line, but for now, it doesn’t bother me. Us gun crazy Americans are used to the noise.” He gives me a wry look and I laugh, the sound bursting from my chest and making me feel all tingly. I’m not sure why, but I’m not going to question why I can laugh after being involved in a murder. It might hit me later that I’m the reason a man is dead and another one will die, but I can’t begin to feel sad about it. They weren’t good people. Like I told Quin, they are demons and deserve to die.
“Thank you. For taking the money for the survivors. That means a lot to me. How will you get it to them?” Quin is fucking brilliant and knows all the computer shit I could only ever dream of, so I’m sure his big brain will work it out.
“I was thinking of sending correspondence via courier with an account number and banking information so they know it’s legit. Send along a note saying they’re being compensated by a private donor for their ordeal and leave it at that. Ask them to keep it confidential. Doesn’t matter if they don’t. The government won’t be able to seize private funds and they won’t know where it came from.”
Sounds like a good plan to me. Nodding, I lean back in my seat, closing my eyes and letting the car rock me to sleep.
It feels like I just closed my eyes when Quin is tapping me, telling me we’re back. I groan and sink further into the seat. I hear the exasperation in his tone when he says, “Come on, boy. I have to get you in the bath, put some food in you, and put you to bed.”
Groaning again, I lift my arms in front of me, still not opening my eyes. “Carry me, Daddy.”
Quin laughs and I drop my arms, cracking an eye to look at his gorgeous smile. “You’re no fun.”
“We know that’s not true. Come on. Bath, food, sleep. Don’t make me repeat myself, boy.” I love it when Quin puts on his Daddy voice, even when he’s reprimanding me. Quickly, I undo my seatbelt and reach for the door handle, making Quin laugh again. Sleep is a thing of the past as I hurry to do what he says.
“Piggy back ride?” he asks, surprising me, but not enough for me to say no.
I hurry around the car and hop on his back, wrapping my arms and legs around him snugly. Moving his locs so I can kiss the back of his neck soundly, I snicker against his skin and whisper, “Thank you, Daddy. I’m so tired.”
“I know, baby boy.”
When we enter the room, Quin sits on the bed and lets me climb off him then makes his way to the bathroom, stripping out of his clothes on the way. While I know he likes to be naked around me, our clothes smell like gas and smoke. He plans to get rid of them soon.
Taking a cue from my Daddy, I strip my clothes off, putting them and Quin’s discarded clothes in a plastic bag by the door. Naked, I make my way inside the bathroom, just watching how Quin’s muscles flex as he runs his hand lightly through the water, checking the temperature.
“Should be warm enough for you to get in, baby boy.”
Dragging my feet a little from exhaustion, I make my way over and sink down in the tub. “Can you get in with me?” I ask quietly with my eyes closed, loving how the warm water feels against my tired muscles. Who knew crying could make you so tired?
“Slide up.”
I do as he says, sliding forward so Quin can climb in behind me. After he takes off his briefs, he steps in, putting either leg beside me and I lean back against his chest. We both sigh, mine sounding more ragged and full of relief. Quin wraps his arms around me and I feel tears prick my eyes. I’m not sad, per se, just a little overwhelmed that we actually did it. Thomas is dead and can’t hurt another person.
One thing I know I can’t do but wish I could is tell the people that were rescued that one of the bastards is dead. While the others will be in prison until they take their last breaths, the two that got away won’t be coming back. But they’ll hear it eventually when the news breaks about the fire and however we’re going to leave Andler. I wish I could speed up the identification process, but that’s asking for trouble. The quick tip we left already has me on edge. Anything more will make me think the police are right around the corner.
Quin reaches beside me for my body wash, rubs some between his hands and washes my upper body. When he gets to my back, I lean up so he can reach and groan when he starts rubbing my shoulders. He rubs and kneads my muscles, relaxing me, the final dregs of unease drifting from my body. Another tear falls and I wipe it, laughing lightly. “We really did it. I still feel strange. Is it normal? Shouldn’t I be, like, happy or something?”
He doesn’t answer right away. Quin uses a cloth to rub the soap in more, then rinses me off. When he’s done, my Daddy pulls me back against his chest again and kisses the top of my head. “You can feel how you want, baby boy. You don’t have to hammer it down right now. Let your emotions roll through you and I’ll be there every step of the way to help you out.”
“I know, Quin. I just wish I was tough like you.”
“You are, boy. This isn’t something you’re used to doing. You didn’t come from my background—something I’m thankful for. After this is over, you won’t ever have to do anything like this again. Because I’ll always keep you safe and nothing bad will ever happen to you.”
