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“You don’t have to say anything. They’ll carry on as normal, and no one needs to mention it. They know what you’ve been through. No one expects you to come back and be fine. I don’t think it would be right for you to come back as if nothing had happened.” This thought settles me, but I still shiver at the thought of going back out there.
“It’s up to you. You can go out there and carry on, or I can take you back to mine, and you can come back whenever you feel ready. There’s no rush.” He brushes my cheek with the back of his hand. It amazes me how gentle he is.
“It’s okay. I want to get back to work.”
“I thought as much.” Gianni smiles. “I’m going to go back out and see if they are okay, and I want you to come out whenever you’re ready.” I nod, thankful he will give me a minute on my own. “But remember, as soon as we step out of this office, I’m your boss.”
“I know.” He presses his hand against the side of my face before kissing me gently.
“You’re more precious to me than you know, and I will not let anything happen to you,” Gianni whispers. I hold his face in my hands and want nothing more than to stay here forever. But reality calls. Gianni stands and makes his way out of the office, closing the door gently behind him.
Fuck. How have I ended up here? I shake my head at the thought of how things were two weeks ago. It’s awful. The whole thing is a huge ball of awfulness, yet I don’t understand how something so beautiful can come out of something so horrible.
I rise from the stool and straighten my uniform. I open my mirror to check my reflection and don’t recognize the person staring back at me. The dark hair, the pale skin. My eyes are a little red but other than that, I don’t look too disheveled.
A few deep breaths prepare me to return to the shop floor. I need to go back out there and pretend nothing happened. Here goes. I open the door and scan the shop. The queue has died down. Gianni is behind the cash register and continues punching orders in. This is part of the act. Inside, he must be desperate to look at me and make sure I’m okay, but he’s good at hiding things.
My head is down, trying to follow his lead. Casey and Faith stare at me from the corners of their eyes. They are searching for the cracks. They know I’m damaged. I need to be strong and remind myself what Gianni said.
I walk over to the coffee machine and pick up one of the takeout cups. I begin to make the tall Americano for some guy named Al, as directed on the side of the cup. Faith is next to me in a blink of an eye.
“You okay?” she whispers.
“Yes, thank you,” I reply, trying to keep some strength in my voice.
“I got my eye on you. You know that, don’t you?” She gives me a look that a mother would give their child, and I send her a smile.
The routine of the day sweeps me along. I’m aware Gianni is watching me. I can’t quite grasp how he helped me through the panic attack. I figure he must have had them himself after the accident. I’ve become so dependent on him. What happens when he isn’t here to help me? I should put some distance between us. My attachment to him is becoming unhealthy, but now isn’t the time to do this. I need him and will not get any stronger if I push him away.
ChapterThirty-Two
It is midafternoon, and I’m busy unloading the dishwasher when I hear voices from the shop. Gianni is agitated. I can tell from the tone of his voice, and I step toward the slightly open door to make out what he’s saying.
“I said you didn’t need to come in today,” Gianni barks.
“I know that, but I wanted to see for myself that she’s okay,” Piero says.
“She’s fine. She just needs to get back to work and try to forget about it.”
“I’d like to see for myself if you don’t mind,” Piero insists. “I know what you are like. She would have been back to work the day after if it’d been up to you.”
“We’re not here to wrap the staff in cotton wool and nurse their wounds.”
“No, but we have a duty of care for their mental health, and we don’t want to be in a situation where she’s off sick for God knows how long with stress and anxiety.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I hear the frustration in Gianni’s voice. He’s trying to remain impassive toward me. I push the door open and head into the shop to help relieve Gianni of his burden.
“Ah, Chloe.” Piero beams. “It is nice to see you back.”
“Thanks.” I smile. “It’s nice to be back. I was going a little stir-crazy at home.” I hope this sounds natural and doesn’t indicate I’m going insane. He takes a step toward me. I see Gianni almost flinch behind him. I still don’t know what it is between them, but I am sure as hell aware of it now. Gianni might as well have his tail bushed out and his ears pricked up. Yet Piero remains relaxed, happy even.
“Are you sure you’re okay to be back at work? You don’t have to put on the brave face if you are not ready.”
“I’m sure.” I nod and keep my eyes off Gianni. We’re enemies as far as Piero is concerned, and Gianni insists we keep it this way.
“Has Gianni spoken to you about a phased return?” I shake my head. “It’s an option that he should have explained.”
“No, I’m fine… honestly.”
