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“How come?” I probe.
“It was after the accident. After Gianni’s wife died. That’s when they seemed to drift. It was as if Gianni pushed Piero away. Sad, really, how some people deal with death.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you lose someone you love, you tend to push other loved ones away, as if to pre-empt their loss. It’s like cutting yourself away from those you love so you can’t get hurt when they leave. You expect everyone will leave you, so why burden yourself with losing someone else? Better to push them away first, and then you’re in control.”
“That’s really sad.”
“I’m sure this happened to the brothers. Gianni was never this cold. It’s as if he shut himself away from everyone.”
There’s a warmth inside me. Gianni has not shut himself away from me. He hasn’t told me everything about his life, but I know what I feel, and I feel close to him. He has shown me a side of him I can imagine no one has seen, except maybe his wife.
I want to push further, but we’re interrupted by the door opening and a group of students piling in. Out of habit, I check every one of them, but they are all far too young to be Carl. Ruby is behind the counter, quick as a flash, taking orders and beaming her lovely smile. She’s so efficient it almost makes my head hurt. I face the coffee machine, ready for the barrage of orders. I still smell Gianni on my clothes and feel his arms wrapped around me. It’s as if he is next to me. I’ve never felt this close to anyone.
* * *
Ruby is having a well-earned break, one I had to convince her to take. The shop is quiet. One woman is sitting in the far corner at what I consider Gianni’s table. She appears smart in her cream shirt and black pencil skirt. Her long dark raincoat sits beside her as if it’s waiting for a coffee too. She’s absorbed in her phone. The lure of whatever is on her screen is far more interesting than what Casey and I are doing behind the counter, which isn’t a lot. I’m half-heartedly cleaning down the coffee machine while Casey picks at some old nail varnish she should not be wearing for work.
When I see Casey fiddling about with the cash register, the memory of the missing money comes rushing back. The night of the stabbing, I’d seen Casey enter the wrong cash register amount to pocket some money from a customer. The simplicity of it amazed me, and I’d wanted to congratulate her on her stroke of genius. I never did tell Gianni what I’d seen. At the time, I’d been too mad with him and had no intention of telling him, but now? I look again at Casey. She is so downbeat. Her hair is thin, her face pale. She appears malnourished and like she spends too much time indoors. She’s rude, but I think about Gianni. We all harbor our own problems, and sometimes, a sad face is the easiest to wear.
“Hey, Casey,” I begin. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.” She continues to press the screen as if she’s looking for something. “It happened on the shift before the incident with Lewis.” She tears her eyes from the screen, her hand still resting on the side of the cash register. “I saw you charge a customer one amount and then ring a different amount into the cash register.” There’s a little flutter in my stomach. I don’t like this, but I need to say something if only to protect her from Gianni’s raging mood. If he finds out, he’ll fire her on the spot.
She glares at me, weighing up her options.
“I know what you’ve been doing, how you’ve been stealing money from the cash register,” I say.
“So?” She shrugs her shoulders, her lips dry.
“Well, if Piero or Gianni find out about it, you will lose your job.”
“You mean to say you haven’t told him?” Casey shoots.
“Him?”
“Oh, give me a break.” Casey rolls her eyes. “We all know you’re screwing Gianni.” My blood runs cold. Shit. “And I wouldn’t even bother with the whole, no-I-am-not routine because it’s so fucking obvious you might as well have been doing it on the tables in the shop.”
“I… I don’t understand.” I’m too shocked to deny it. If anything, I thought Gianni and I appeared like mortal enemies. Before the stabbing, I’d grappled with my hatred for him, and now? I’ve been careful, at least I think I have. So, how can she know?
“It’s the little things. The way he looks at you. The way you look at him. And all the fighting. The tension between you is unbearable.” She is disgusted by this.
“Well, you seem to have it all figured out.” I fold my arms. I’m too taken aback to continue with my Nancy Drew-style investigation. I turn to go and find something to do in the kitchen when she stops me.
“So, why haven’t you told him?” she inquires.
I think carefully about what I’m about to say.
“It’s not what you’re doing, more the why. And I don’t think it is any of his business, nor is it mine,” I say, “And I believe everybody makes mistakes, and we should all have a chance to put them right.”
I lower my head and walk to the kitchen, wondering what Casey will make of that. I’m still too shocked to worry about it. If Casey knows about Gianni and me, then who else knows? She saideveryone, which must include Faith. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if Faith was the first to stumble upon the idea. But what about Piero?
If Piero knows, then Gianni will hit the roof. But why? What’s so bad about his brother knowing about us? Will he tell Gianni to fire me? That may not be such a bad thing.
ChapterThirty-Five
Gianni went into the shop first today while I waited in my car. I almost laughed when he told me to wait for ten minutes. I wanted to tell him there was no need for this charade because everyone knows, but I humored him for the sake of his mood.
I haven’t told him about my conversation with Casey. I don’t want him to know about her stealing. Casey is on the early shift, and she watched me walk through the door, her eyes scouring me and then Gianni, who had set up his laptop on his favorite table. I wonder if she’s holding her tongue because I’ve held mine. But there’s now an unspoken air between Casey and me. I always thought the term ‘elephant in the room’ made no sense, but now there’s an entire herd in the coffee shop.
