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Surely there is a way to work all of this out, for me to take care of all the people I care about. I just feel like I’m destined to let one of them down.
Duke
Wednesdaynight,IcallJune after my game in Chicago. It’s late by the time I get to the hotel—almost eleven—so it’s nearly midnight in New Jersey. But she picks up my call.
“Hello?” Her voice is raspy, like she’s tired, but it heats me up and soothes me at the same time.
“Hey, Freckles. You’re still up.”
“You called me,” she points out. “Why would you call me if you didn’t think I’d be up?”
“I hoped you’d be up. That’s different from assuming you’re still up.”
“Semantics, York.”
I chuckle. It’s so good to talk to her.
“I saw the game,” she says.
“You did? How did I do?” I ask as I stretch out on the bed. I’m irrationally pleased she watched. She’s said before she doesn’t know much about hockey.
“Please. You know you’re amazing, Duke.”
I warm at the compliment. “How are you? How’s Tabby?”
“We’re good. Tabby’s snoring.”
“Of course.”
“I talked with her teacher. They’re scheduling a bunch of tests. Once all of the results are available, we’ll meet with the child study team to discuss our next steps. It should be a few weeks, they think.”
“Okay. Just add it to our calendar when you have the details, and I’ll make it.” At the start of the season, we set up an electronic calendar we could put shared appointments on. June thought it would be easier to manage, considering all my traveling.
“Great. I’ll email Miss Shepherd and let her know.”
Talk of appointments reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to tell her. “Sonya’s mom is back in town. She finished her rehab in Switzerland. Her name is Nancy. I was hoping I could introduce her to you. She’s really a great person, and she loves Tabby very much.”
“I’d love to meet her,” June says automatically, as I knew she would. She’s never met a person she didn’t want to know better. “Why don’t we have her for dinner tomorrow night when you get back?”
My heart twists. I love this woman so much. “I’d love that,” I say. And I love you, I add in my head.
“Great. What can I make?”
“Don’t go nuts,” I caution, even though I am fully aware she’s going to do what she wants. “And Nancy loves everything. She’s not picky.” She can’t be. Sonya’s mother is as bad a cook as I am. When you suck at feeding yourself, everything is an improvement.
“Okay, I’ll sort it out with Tabby.”
“Sounds good.” I smile, just happy to hear her voice. “I miss you, June.”
I’m not sure if I mean to say the words, but I don’t regret them. They’re true, and I’ve never been one to pretend things aren’t the way they are. This trip has been so much harder than other road trips. Usually, I only need to deal with missing Tabby, which is already hard. But adding the ache of missing June too? It’s made the days feel long. Plus, I took a hit tonight that left my knee aching. My body is getting too busted for this job.
There’s a long silence, and I don’t break it. I keep getting closer and closer to telling June how I feel about her, but it seems like every time I mention anything close to serious, to declarations of affection, she shies away. I’m doing my best to be patient. It hasn’t even been a week since we slept together for the first time.
“I miss you too,” she finally says softly, and the words sing through me. I feel triumphant, like a Roman conqueror, or like I went out and hunted to support her with my own hands. It’s a stupid, possessive feeling, but I don’t care. “We need to talk about something, though.”
If I was ecstatic after her admission that she missed me, the next phrase drops me off that high. “Do we?” I ask, doing my best to keep the trepidation out of my voice. “What’s up?”
“I can’t take my paycheck anymore.”
