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He blinks at me, his jaw working. “It’s not about the childcare. It’s about you,” he grits out.
“What?”
“I can find other childcare. I can’t find another you.” He enunciates every word like I don’t speak English. Then he buries his hands in his hair and paces the length of the room. “Christ, June. How is it possible I’ve lived with you—that I’m in love with you—and I don’t know any of this? I can’t imagine how we can make anything work between us if you can’t share what’s important with me.”
“Duke…” He looks lost, and I don’t know what to say to him.
He shakes his head. “I need to get back to the training center. We leave for Boston in an hour. We can…talk about this more later. Don’t forget that Nancy asked to take Tabby tonight. She’ll be here when Tabby gets off the bus.” He picks up his jacket, already heading for the door. Retreating. “I’ll see you tomorrow night when I get back.”
The sound of the door closing behind him is like a thunderclap. I’m rooted to the spot in the living room, staring after him.
That couldn’t have gone worse. I drop onto the couch, covering my face with my hands. That article points out everything I’ve suspected. I don’t fit here with Duke. He’s successful and rich, and he has a daughter to raise. Me? I’m a walking financial deficit, the daughter of a whore with no experience in relationships. I’ve seen them done in movies and read about it all in books, but I didn’t have any close role models. My mom had flings, not even actual relationships, and she never married.
Honestly, besides Lily, no one has ever made a place for me. If I was him, I don’t know that I’d take a chance on me. Maybe he doesn’t see what a risk I am, but I can see it. That article was exactly the reminder I needed.
Tabby is staying with Nancy tonight, so she doesn’t need me. That’s good. I can use this time to figure out where I can go. I can probably stay with Lily for a couple of days, but I need a more permanent solution.
For now, though… I reach into my pocket and text Violet.Any chance you’re around tonight? I could use a place to crash.
“Thank you for letting me stay here,” I tell Violet later as I drag my suitcase into the hall of her apartment in Philadelphia. It’s a second-floor walkup, but it’s downtown, right near all the clubs and restaurants.
“No problem. Like I told you earlier, I have a spare room. You can stay as long as you want.” Violet looks chic in jogger sweats and an oversized cropped sweatshirt. Her socks have tiny pink hearts on them, and she makes even them look effortlessly elegant.
“I wasn’t sure if you were looking for a roommate, but as soon as I get a job, I’ll be able to pay rent. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of weeks.” The surgery might set me back a week or so, but after that, I’ll be ready.
Violet waves a hand at me. “It’s not a big deal. My father actually footed the first six months for me. I told him I could make my way, but I’m from Texas and a long way from home. I think it made him feel better to take care of me.” Like always, Violet delivers this information with a breeziness I can’t imagine. As if a family member spotting her thousands of dollars is no big deal at all. I can’t imagine that kind of caretaking. “But what happened to your old job? With Duke?”
I set my suitcase on its wheels. It’s busted, though, so it falls. I prop it against the wall. “Well, jobs get complicated when you sleep with your boss.” I sigh. When I say the words out loud, it sounds cheap.
Violet gasps and squeals. “I knew it. I told Hunter, but he was sure Duke wouldn’t do that. But I can always guess.”
My cheeks are on fire. “It’s actually… complicated.”
“You said.”
“He has Tabby.”
“Hence the job,” she points out.
“Right,” I allow. “Well, I won’t say all the things about Tabby, but she needs me. But my foster mother, Lily, is in kidney failure. She needs me, too.” I inhale and breathe out slowly. “I’m going to give her one of my kidneys.”
Violet lifts her hands. “Hold on. You’re not wrong. This is complicated.” She heads into the tiny kitchen and pulls a bottle of wine out of her refrigerator. “I think you need to start from the beginning, and I have just the thing for a story like this.”
I’ve only known Violet for a month, but during that time, I’ve come to value her friendship. I trust her.
She pours us both very healthy glasses, and we take them into the open space that doubles as a dining room and a living room. I sit on the couch, tuck my feet under me, and spill my guts. I tell her about my mother, about entering the foster system and meeting Lily. I explain how I’ve worked so hard to get through college, all the jobs, all the ways I worked to improve myself. I allude to Lily’s finances, but I don’t feel comfortable saying much about Lily’s private business. I do tell her about the kidney dialysis, about the costs and about her declining prognosis.
“I’m so sorry,” Violet says, gripping my hand.
“Thank you.” I squeeze back. “But it’s going to be okay. They think that she’ll have a full life with a new kidney.”
“And you’re a match.”
“Yes.” I sit up straighter. “I’m so glad I can do this for her.”
“That’s an enormous gift you’re giving her.” Violet reaches for her wineglass. “I’m sure she appreciates what you’re doing.”
“It’s nothing compared to what she did for me. She took me in, raised me.”
