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She felt like she had been betrayed two times over. Firstly by the physical, standing right in front of her, kissing her and loving her Ben. Secondly by the non-physical, words on a screen, backbone of her life GreenEyedKing96. Except they were the same person.
She couldn’t wrap her head around it but at the same time it made perfect sense. The feeling she got when talking to them both, the warmth from them, the care. The interest in her life and pushing her to get herself out there and have confidence in her writing.
No wonder GreenEyedKing96 hadn’t wanted to video call with her: then the jig would be up. Fresh pain stroked over her already sore wounds and her hurt crept ever higher. He knew, yet he continued the ruse even after. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered when their online relationship had taken a turn, where he’d gotten sexual and then immediately pulled back. She scoffed,well at least that makes sense now.
She made it home and taking a shuddering breath she went inside the house.
“Morning sweetheart,” her mom called. Kayleigh could hear her pattering around the living room and hurried past the open doorway, heading towards the stairs.
“I’m not feeling well so I’m gonna go to bed for a little while,” she called and rushed up the stairs to her room before her mom could reply. She shut the door and leaned back against it, releasing her breath, her eyes darting around the room, lingering on her computer and then her bed, where she had memories of Ben. She clapped her hands over her eyes and scrubbed, desperate to shake the images free.
She turned her computer on, the messenger app automatically loading and logging her in. It was a reflex. When she was down, she needed GreenEyedKing96 to talk to, to get all her woes out and for him to build her back up again. She needed her friend. She realized what she had done and was about to shut the system back down when the message alerts popped up.
GreenEyedKing96:Kayleigh, please, let me explain!
GreenEyedKing96:You have EVERY right to be mad and I’m so, so sorry, trust me when I say I know exactly what I did and why it’s so awful. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make it right but please trust that I’m sorry.
GreenEyedKing96:I never wanted to hurt you, you’re everything to me, everything.
GreenEyedKing96:Please don’t shut me out, let’s talk.
GreenEyedKing96:I love you xx
She hovered her mouse over his screen name, over his bunny avatar and right-clicked. The drop-down menu came up and she hovered over the word for a moment, second guessing herself before finally clickingblock.
Then she truly cried, great heaving sobs that racked her small chest. She crawled into bed, hugging her pillow tightly and when her tears finally subsided, she was numb to the pain. She continued to lay there until sleep crept in, soothing her for a few hours, giving her heart and emotions the break they needed.
When she awoke hours later, she got ready for work, showering and dressing with empty, stilted movements. She said goodbye to her parents and set off on her bicycle for the bar. It was only as the bar came into view that she considered she would see him. Ben wasn’t due to work today but what if he came in anyway, knowing she would be there? Her heart pounded, feelings prodding at her, excitement that she would see him immediately overpowered by hurt at what he’d done and how he’d ruined things for them.
She secured her bike and went inside, the sounds and smells of the place where she spent most of her time wrapped around her in a comforting cloak. Taylor appeared, dressed in a royal blue knit dress, her red curls secured into a loose knot at the top of her head and Kayleigh was struck again by how beautiful she was. But now it felt different, more like Kayleigh could appreciate her beauty without unrequited feelings overwhelming her; they were gone. She wished she could say the same for her feelings for Ben.
Taylor looked up when Kayleigh came closer. “Hey, girl!” Then her happy expression fell, her brows knitted together and her mouth pulled into a tight line. “What’s wrong?”
Kayleigh feared this would happen, she knew she would be fine as long as no one asked her what was wrong but the second that happened, all bets were off. Her face crumpled.
“We’ll just be two secs,” Taylor said to the slim, petite brunette who Kayleigh hadn’t even noticed until now. She remembered Taylor saying she had hired Rebelle, another woman from town.Great, you just make all the best impressions when you meet the new hires, don’t you?Her first encounter with Ben pushing front and center of her mind, and a small sob slipped out. It had been a disastrous meeting, she wasn’t even conscious for half of it, but she remembered how he had cared for her, how gentle he had been and his soft expression when he looked at her.
Taylor’s arm slipped around Kayleigh’s shoulders and steered her into the office and closed the door.
“What did he do? Am I gonna have to fire him?”
“No!” Kayleigh cried, knowing how much this job meant to Ben.
“What happened?” Taylor offered her a tissue.
“We just had a fight, that’s all. We’re not together anymore. He didn’t hurt me physically if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Taylor’s posture lost some of its rigidity and Kayleigh felt bad that she was so worried. “Honestly, just a standard breakup, you know how hard those can be. I just need some time.”
“Do you want me to rework your shifts so you’re not on together? Well, maybe once in a while you will be, but a majority I could try and fix?”
Kayleigh gave her a small smile, grateful that she would be willing to do that, but she could never put her personal drama ahead of Taylor’s business. “No, honestly you don’t need to do that, I don’t want it affecting work or your business.”
Taylor pulled her into a hug. “Sweet Kayleigh Good still always putting everyone else first. I wouldn’t have offered if I couldn’t do it. We have Rebelle helping out now so that will ease things.”
Kayleigh pulled back to look up at Taylor, she was a tall woman anyway compared to Kayleigh’s non-impressive five feet but with the added height of her boots, she towered over Kayleigh, overwhelming her. “You sure?”
“Of course. You’re family, and family always comes first.”
