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I blinked hard as I turned to Rose. I felt suddenly shy with my sister, who was as tall as I was now and who so often glared at me.
She grabbed me and hugged me tightly. “Oh, Amelia. I’ve been so scared for you.”
“The King pack didn’t hurt me,” I said, though that was an oversimplification. The way I’d felt safe there, the chance to talk openly, the chance to run as a wolf, had made me feel safe. Having that safety once again pulled from under my feet felt worse in some ways than long-expected cruelty.
Hope is the most treacherous emotion. And in the King pack, I’d felt hope–even joy–for the first time in a long time.
“I’ve been scared for you for a lot longer than since you went to the King pack,” she said. She buried her suddenly wet eyes in my shoulder, hugging me tightly again.
“It’s alright. We’re all together now.” I patted her back, wondering how long we would stay united.
One of the strange things about growing up in a toxic house is that everyone has such a different experience of their childhood, their family. Aiden might want to go back to the pack eventually. Rose might long for a relationship with our mother more than anything else. God knewIlonged for a relationship with my mother. I just wanted that relationship to be different than the one we always had. Grieving a parent is hard enough—I’d learned that from grieving my dad—but grieving the broken relationship with a parent is misery that never ends.
But for now, we were together. I tried to smile.
We drove all night, staying on highways through neutral territory. We took turns driving.
Dylan normally would have been miserable on a long car trip, but he rested his head on Rose’s lap while I was driving. He slept on her in the back seat. She idly played with his reddish-brown hair. It was good to see how much my siblings loved my little son. For all their flaws, they were a good aunt and uncle.
“How’s Lawson doing?” I asked.
Aiden drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “He’s fine.”
The words were so short that they worried me. “Probably better with Nathan gone? Who’s alpha now?”
“We’ll see,” said Aiden. “For now, there’s been no decision. But someone will take that position, and face whatever challengers rise from the wreckage.”
“I think it might be Lawson,” Rose said cheerfully, not seeming to notice the weighted look that passed between Aiden and me. “Sometimes I think he’s never really gotten over you, Amelia.”
“I don’t want that,” I said bluntly. “I’m done with being wanted by men. It’s always more trouble than it’s worth.”
Roses lips twisted, and for the first time in a while, I caught a glimpse of my sister’s jealousy. “That’s easy to say when you’re beautiful. People are always looking at you, always watching you.”
I didn’t know how to answer. People said I was beautiful. But Nathan’s voice had been overwhelming, telling me how worthless I was, that my only good quality was my beauty. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be pretty. Not if that was all I was.
“Rose,” Aiden said quietly, “read the room. It’s not something that Amelia is appreciative of at the moment.”
Rose flushed. But she fell silent.
The joy that I’d felt at seeing my siblings was replaced by something darker, the sudden sense of distance between us all once again. I would do anything to have the close relationship of the King siblings, who rose in my mind with all their teasing, their love for each other so deep. Their bonds were based in not just family, but friendship. They had their issues, but their love always shone through.
Longing twisted through my heart.
Maybe I missed the King family.
I tried to convince myself that I merely longed for those kinds of bonds with my own brother and sister. It wasn’t Karissa’s bubbly spirit, Shaw’s easy smile, Cole’s quiet, gentle warmth, Liam’s unpredictable hilarity and wisdom… or Stone’s presence that took up the whole room and made everyone turn toward him, as if he were magnetic.
I couldn’t miss that.
As the sun grew low again, we acknowledged that we had been driving too long for safety and it was time to stop. Once we found a hotel, I took Dylan to the park down the street for a while for him to run and swing and get out his energy. I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder the whole time, half expecting Nathan to clap his hand over my mouth and drag me away into the shadows.
I couldn’t stop looking out for Stone either. The memory of that howl haunted me. It had been so full of an alpha’s power but it had been sad too, and the sadness didn’t make sense. I would have expected Stone just to be angry to be denied his prize, his chance to interrogate me again once he found another witch to do his bidding.
I swung on the swings with Dylan, and followed him all over the park, pretending to be the monster that he begged me to be and tickling him. As much as I wanted a few minutes of solitude, I didn’t want to leave his side, even to sit on the park bench and breathe.
I’ve been with other people constantly in close quarters since I escaped the King pack. I needed a break. When we had all eaten takeout from greasy bags, the room was silent except for the drone of the cartoons we’d put on for Dylan. I was thankful to curl up in one of the double beds with Dylan and close my eyes. I’d probably find it hard to sleep, no matter how tired I was, but at least I could have some time to sort through my thoughts.
Aiden took the pull out couch and my sister slept in the other bed. I kept waking up at night to check that they were all there, to look at Dylan’s little face as he curled up against my body, to see my siblings’ shadowed forms. Escaping the King pack seemed too easy. I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a trap somehow, that Stone was still in control.
